All We Are
by Ianuaria
Summary: Sequel to What We Could Have Been, featuring the Shepherds, and the rest of the Seattle crew. Angst, fluff, and all the stuff in between. Open to requests and suggestions!
1. Chapter 1

**_I couldn't resist starting this sequel right away, so here's the first chapter!_**

 ** _Not much in the way of a plot in this one, just a little bit of fluff and some McShepherds._**

 ** _It picks up almost three years after the end of What We Could Have Been, so you might want to read that first or you'll be a bit lost._**

* * *

 ** _ADDISON'S POV_**

"Mommy!"

"Mama."

"Mo-om!"

"Mama."

"Shut up!" Mark bellows.

" _Mark_." she hisses. "Stop moving."

"Your kid is climbing my leg!"

"She's your goddaughter."

"Beth." he says firmly. "Down."

"Me too, Daddy," Sofia squeals. "Climb!"

She anchors herself to Mark's other leg, both girls giggling.

"I spent ages on their hair," she moans. "Look at them."

Their carefully arranged curls are merrily askew, flowers forgotten in a corner, a suspicious wet spot on Sofia's also look adorable, and Mark agrees, but they might be biased.

"Isn't Karev on kid duty?" Amelia asks, stabbing pins into her hair.

"Yeah," she mutters, yanking at Mark's tie. "But he got paged. Arizona too."

"Has anyone seen - oh, there they are." Derek sighs in relief, seizing both toddlers and pulling them away. "Addie, why aren't you dressed yet?"

"Ask your daughter."

"Mommy, look at my flowers!" she sings, bouncing on the sofa now. The petals are spilling from her basket; Sofia seizes a handful and tries an experimental toss. Michael hops excitedly into the cascading petals, his laughter spurring Annabeth on.

"No, sweetie, those are for after." Derek explains, scooping them back in. "You have to walk down the aisle, and-"

"Like _zis_ -" Sofia says, chucking another fistful at Derek.

"Damn the French nanny." Mark mutters. "Kid speaks Spanish with a French accent, because toddler-speak wasn't hard enough."

"Au pair." Callie corrects. "Why does your tie look like that? Wait, lemme try."

Addison steps back with her hands held up, and Callie goes after the wayward tie with a vengeance.

"Derek, help." Mark begs.

"I can't tie a tie."

"I tie his ties." she explains.

"Tie." Michael says happily, pointing at his own little tie.

"Lexie's ready whenever you are." Meredith says from the doorway, surveying the chaos in the suite, toys and sippy cups mingling with discarded clothes and shoes on the floor, most of the elaborate flower arrangements lifted out of the children's reach, the three flushed children on the couch, Mark with his crooked tie, and she herself nowhere near ready.

* * *

 ** _MEREDITH'S POV_**

She's had a lot of stupid ideas, made a lot of stupid decisions, but this is probably one of the worst.

They look at her with three pairs of solemn eyes, two brilliant blue, one chocolate.

She figures she has the element of surprise for about two more seconds before they launch back into terrible-twos mode, so she unearths a pad of heavy cream paper with the hotel's logo on it, digs a couple of pens from her purse, and passes them out.

"Why'd you bring the progeny in here?" Cristina gripes, refilling her glass.

"Juice?" Sofia asks.

"Not for you," Cristina says hastily.

"Mark's ... freaking out." she says, lowering her voice on the last two words. "And Addison's a mess, so I offered to watch them for a while until Arizona gets here."

"Mark's what?" Lexie squawks.

"Getting..dressed!" she says perkily, glaring at Cristina when she snorts.

"I look like a cake." she whispers, rotating slowly in front of the mirror. "Mer, help me!"

"You look very nice." she says loyally. Just...puffy.

"I should never have listened to Mom," she whimpers, her voice rising into panic range. Annabeth looks up with interest.

"You don't look like a cake." Cristina says firmly. Lexie looks at her gratefully.

"More like a ...meringue."

"Cris- _tina_." she snaps. "Shut up."

"What? I'm being honest."

"What am I going to do?" Lexie howls.

"Pretty." Annabeth says, poking a finger into Lexie's sleeve.

"Great," Lexie mutters. "I'm asking a two year old for advice."

"Almost three," she corrects. "A very well dressed three, you might want to listen to her."

Annabeth flounces back over, smoothing her pink chiffon skirt. Her crimson hair is carefully pulled back with a multitude of pins, tiny white roses tucked among the curls. "Pretty." she coos, patting her knee.

"Pretty." Sofia says to Cristina.

"Do they say it to everyone?" she wonders aloud.

"Uncle Alex!" Michael cheers. "Hi! Hi hi hi-"

"Hey, kid." he smiles, coming over after the girls have enthusiastically greeted him. "Who got them hopped up on candy?"

"How could you tell?" Cristina asks, looking shifty.

"I'm a pediatric surgeon?"

"Not yet." Arizona smirks. "Come on, gang, let's go."

* * *

 ** _DEREK'S POV_**

It's refreshingly quiet after the kids leave, Addison following not long after to get dressed, Amy vanishing sometime in between.

So he digs out the video camera and points it at Mark. Revenge is sweet.

"Man," Mark says, looking uncomfortable.

"Men like us were meant to have -" he mocks.

"I take it back, okay." Mark says into the camera. "I have the woman I need, so that's it."

"Now is when I talk you out of it, right?" he teases.

"Nah." Mark grins. "I think we're past that now."

"You tried to talk me out of marrying Addison." he reminds him.

"I was young and stupid." he replies. "Clearly you two are perfect for each other."

"We better be," he snorts. "We've been married almost fifteen years-"

"God, we're old."

"So, when I tell you to not give up," he presses on. "Listen to me, because I know what I'm talking about- when it's hard and you can't look at her the same way and it feels like it might be over...that's when you have to really put your back into it, know what I mean?"

"Or another part of the anatomy," Mark says, eyebrows dancing.

"That's all you can say? I was giving you important life advice and that all you can say?"

"What are you talking about?" Addison asks curiously, and he's distracted for a moment.

"Nothing."

"Well, if you're done, let's go get you married." she says, her heels clicking purposefully on the floor ahead of them.

She stops before the closed double doors that lead out into the ballroom, turns to them with her eyes bright, a smile spreading across her face.

"What, Addison?" Mark says exasperatedly, tugging at his collar.

She flings her arms around Mark's neck, yanking him along with one arm.

"Who thought we'd end up here?" she laughs in his ear.

* * *

 ** _MARK'S POV_**

They stand there for a while, arms tangles around each other, Addison's hair in his face, Derek's foot on his, but it feels right.

They're family. They're all he needs to get through today, them and Sofia and Callie.

And Lexie.

 _I swear it's worth it_ Derek told him; now, watching her walk down that aisle on Thatcher's arm, he understands.

And then she's laughing and crying at the same time, rings sliding onto fingers, her lips soft and sweet against his, and it's dine, it's over. She his, he's hers. He has a family, people to call his own. It's a sensation so novel he finds his eyes blurring suspiciously, even when Derek takes the stage, accompanied by Addison, to deliver a toe-curlingly embarrassing speech.

"I figured I owed you that," Derek grins when he steps off the stage.

"Me too." Addison smirks. "I haven't forgotten that one lyric, you know."

"It _is_ pretty fine-" Derek begins.

"Kids!" Addison says, cheeks pink. "Come here."

They've been hanging out with Karev and Stevens and their kid, who looks like a mini- Stevens, miraculously quiet; when Addison beckons to them, they come running in a stampede of time feet, Sofia launching herself into his arms.

He holds her against his chest, the puffy skirt making it hard to hold on. "I throwed the floflowers, Daddy!" Do you see?"

"I did," he kisses her cheek. "You were perfect. You too, Beth."

She grins sleepily at him from Derek's shoulder, a thumb straying to her mouth.

"Someone needs bed." he says succinctly. Sofia is starting to get fidgety, a sure sign of an impending meltdown.

"We should probably get home," Derek says.

"We've barely started!" Lexie objects, breathless from dancing.

"When you got married," he snickers. "I thought we'd get thrown out of the hotel for sure."

"We were young." Addison counters. "And massively stupid."

"And childless." Callie says, reaching for a floppy Sofia. "I don't think coming on your honeymoon is really in her best interest, so hand her over."

* * *

 ** _DEREK'S POV_**

It's a relief to be back home, although his head is still pounding from the music, probably too much champagne. Addison's standing in front of the mirror, wincing as she brushes out her hair, pins clinking onto the dressing table.

"I don't know about you," she says, gingerly rotating an ankle. "But my feet are definitely old. Their dancing in heels days are over."

"You don't look old." he assures her, trailing his fingers through her hair; she moans and tilts her head back into his hands, enjoying the feeling. She jumps a little when he presses his lips to her neck, eyes darting to the door.

"The twins-"

"Dead to the world." he assures her. They were asleep in the car, drowsy as they undressed them, and out like lights the minute they tucked them into their beds.

"Mama?" a tremulous voice calls.

"Eat your words." Addison mutters, yanking the strap of her dress back up her shoulder, which he'd been kissing.

"What is it, baby?" he hears her call as she walks down the hallway. He follows her; one waking up invariably means the other will be up in a few minutes.

It's Michael who called out, sitting up in his little bed with the dinosaur-print sheets, his hair sticking up comically. He's clutching the low rail he insists he doesn't need, reaching for his mother the moment he sees her.

Across the room, Annabeth is sleeping soundly, buried in an avalanche of stuffed animals, one hand curled firmly around her favorite, a seal named Stumpy for his amputated flipper.

"I spill." Michael says guiltily, pointing to the puddle on the floor. He retrieves the cup from under the bed, frowning at the top, which has somehow popped off.

"It's okay," Addison soothes. "Let's get you some water."

She picks up Beth's cup from the table that's within reach of her bed, handing it to Michael while he mops up the spill.

"Me too."

They look over to see Annabeth looking alert, reaching for her cup.

"When he's done." Addison says firmly.

She waits her turn, which is a pleasant surprise, setting the cup back on the table when she's done.

"Night, Mommy. Night Daddy. Night, Mikey."

"No," Michael says tearfully, clinging. He dislikes sleeping alone, most mornings they find both of them curled like puppies in Annabeth's bed even though she kicks like a demon in her sleep. More than once, they've found the imprint of her sturdy little feet on her brother's legs.

When it's raining the way it is tonight, he and Addison take it for granted that he'll be in their bed.

"You can share, Mikey." she says magnanimously, patting her dotted sheets.

" _Don't touch Stumpy."_ they hear her whisper as they draw the door half-closed behind them.

"She's either going to be Chief of Surgery or a terrorist." he chuckles as they finally shut their own bedroom door, Addison flicking on the baby monitor that still stands beside the bed. "There's no in between."

"Michael will probably be a shrink." she muses, sliding into bed with a sigh. "He talked Sofia out of playing hide and seek under the tables at the reception today."

"You know, they might not be doctors." he says, lying down beside her. " _God_ that feels good."

"I know." she murmurs sleepily, turning into him as he pulls up the covers; they both turn off the lights at the same time. "But they probably will be - they don't know anyone who isn't."

"Addie?"

"No."

"I, uh." he clears his throat. She lifts her arm off her eyes to glare at him. "Need to tell you something."

"At the wedding..." he starts. "He was there, but -"

"Please tell me you didn't." She groans, rolling away from him; his left side feels suddenly cold. "Mark said not to."

"Mark says a lot of things," he says, the covers slipping down as he gestures. "Doesn't mean-"

"This is something you need to let him decide, honey." she says, kissing him with an air of finality. "Good night."

* * *

 ** _Please review and let me know what you thought of it!_**

 ** _And feel free to leave your suggestions for anything you want to see in this sequel - I'm open to anything._**

 ** _Title: All We Are, Matt Nathanson. Go listen to it. I thought it was perfect for what I have in mind next._**


	2. Chapter 2

**_This story is addictive and I can't stop writing. Thanks for reading it._**

* * *

 ** _ADDISON'S POV_**

"You paged?" Derek asks, his voice chipper like it always is when he walks into patients rooms. He has this _thing_ , this smile, he does when he meets them - and they're usually falling at his feet.

Which she needs right now, but she's pretty sure he wouldn't be smiling like that if he knew what she had in mind. _Any_ of the things she had in mind.

His intern for the day comes in behind him, followed by Lexie, tanned from two weeks in the Bahamas, and two people she didn't expect. At all.

"Oh, are they yours?" Lana asks, breaking into a grin as she makes a _why the hell_ gesture at Derek.

"Yup," he says, holding Annabeth's hand in one of his, Michael hiding behind Lexie's legs.

"You're married?" Lana's husband, Cole asks.

"Yup." she says, hoisting Annabeth onto her hip before she can start clamoring to be picked up.

"Nanny's off and daycare's closed." Derek says like this is no big deal.

"Measles outbreak." he tells her, guiding Michael to the couch in the corner of the room, prising Annabeth from her hip. "Okay, guys, give me five minutes, and then-"

"Ice cream?" Michael says hopefully.

"No, but Aunt Amy's going to take you home."

"Which means ice cream." she rolls her eyes at him, voice low enough that the twins can't hear. Amelia is the quintessential cool aunt; ice cream and candy and no bedtime.

"She had the day off but she came in anyway - she might as well babysit." he says. "So, what do we have here?"

"How old are you?" Lana coos. Annabeth looks unimpressed. Michael holds up three fingers; she folds one down and he puts it back up. Lana looks confused.

"They'll be three next week - Beth. Let go of his finger."

" _Two_ ," she explains.

"I know, but you're almost three- we'll talk about this later, okay, I'm busy."

"I'd give anything for that," Lana says wistfully. "To be able to do that with my own baby, so please, Dr. Shepherd, help me."

* * *

 ** _DEREK'S POV_**

They seem like a nice enough couple, Lana and Cole, she's twenty four weeks pregnant, Addison paged him for a consult. Fairly normal. He consults on her cases all the time.

This one is giving him a distinctly bad feeling though, something about the way Addison won't quite meet his eyes.

She left before he did that morning, it was his turn to do the daycare drop off, so he hasn't seen her today. She looks a little tired, dressed in scrubs and sneakers instead of her usual couture. Andb as far as he knows, she wasn't supposed to be operating this morning.

"This is Shepherd, head of neurosurgery," she's saying. "And , his resident, they'll be talking you through the procedure- if you agree to it."

"What would that be?" he grits his teeth; he can't understand why she's being so elusive with this case.

"No." he says out in the corridor as Lexie closes the Flanagan's door behind her. "Absolutely not."

"It's their only chance."

"You're insane if you think it's going to work," he says, lowering his voice as the kids look over at them.

"What?" Amy says curiously as she bounces up to them, the kids immediately swarming around her. She has Sofia with her, and all three of them are staring.

"She wants to do a ventriculoamniotic shunt." he glares.

"On the fetus of a forty two year old woman who is on her last embryo." she counters.

"Why...not?" Amy asks him, looking nonplussed.

"Because there's no guarantee it'll work," he says, annoyed. Lexie shifts uncomfortably, looking like she wants to run. "The shunt could shift, the fetus could have other anomalies, she could give birth prematurely, not to mention all the risks that usually go with fetal surgery-"

"Which I'm good at handling." Addison says, foot tapping impatiently.

"I'll do it."

" _What_ ?" he demands.

"I'll do it," Amy repeats. "If you won't, Derek, I'll do it. Cool surgery. I never turn down cool surgeries."

"Why don't you just take the kids home," Addison says quickly. "Well talk about it tonight, we can't operate today anyway, I've got to get her blood pressure under-"

"See? She's not even fit for this surgery." he hisses as Amy walks the kids away - they pause the argument for a moment to blow kisses and wave - and Lexie escapes quietly down a corridor as they walk away from the room.

"You just don't want to do it because you think it'll make you look bad if it doesn't work."

" _You_ just want to do it because it'll make you look good. "

"No, I want to do it because that woman is on her last chance to have a baby and we're the only ones who can help her." she snaps, her cheeks brilliant red.

"Addie-"

" _Don't._ "

"That's what you say, that's what you always say, Addison, we never talk about this-"

"Not in my hospital, you don't." Richard glares, emerging from his office. "Why can't you argue at home, like normal people?"

"Because she's never home!"

"It's not like you're a stay-at-home dad," she says, eyes narrowing. "And it's our hospital too."

"Yeah." he agrees. Richard looks like he might laugh.

It _is_ pretty ridiculous.

"Go, save lives." he mutters, sweeping them down the corridor. "And save the yelling for when you go home."

Apparently, Addison doesn't think it's ridiculous; she's stalking away from him, even faster now that she's in sneakers instead of heels, her long strides carrying her halfway down the corridor before he catches up.

"Addie, wait." he swings open a door, propelling her into a darkened exam room. She leans against the table, arms crossed, her expression one of resignment.

"What's wrong with you?" he demands.

"Nothing." she says defiantly, chin tilting upwards. She still won't look at him.

"You're working yourself into the ground, you won't come home longer than a few hours, you're touchy and you won't talk to me-"

"Since when do you want to talk about anything?" she asks, making for the door. "You don't have to start now."

"Don't tell me this is about Mark's-"

"No, it's not about Mark." she says furiously, shoving at the hand he puts on her arm. "Not that you told me about that, either, but it's not about Mark."

"Well, _what_ , Addison?" he says, feeling his tenous grip on his temper slipping. "Can you please, just this once, actually _tell_ me what the matter is instead of being so damn passive aggressive-"

"I'm pregnant."

* * *

 ** _MARK'S POV_**

"Have you seen Dr. Shepherd?" he asks, examining a chart. The nurse - not even a nurse, a student probably, so nervy she's dropping pens and tripping over her feet - shakes her head.

"Which one?" Lexie asks, popping up behind him, her arms sliding around his neck. The student blushes furiously, skittering away around the corner. "Well, actually both of them are up on six, yelling about a patient in the hallway. I just got away."

He frowns, even though she's pressing up against him in a decidedly fun way. "I don't know what's wrong with them, they've been at each other since..."

He pauses, trying to think back, which is harder than it should be because she's moved on to kissing his neck, just behind his ear. It's been weeks - no, months. Since they got back from that trip.

He remembers because they'd volunteered to take the twins that weekend, and he already had Sofia, so he and Lexie ended up getting zero sleep while the kids had the time of their lives.

"They'll snap out of it." she murmurs in his ear. "You know, the on call room down the hall is empty - and it locks."

He's just following her towards it when the shy nursing student comes back, calling after him.

"Who is it?" he asks irritably. Which is rude, and Addison would kill him if she heard it, but he has twenty minutes before his next surgery and intends to make good use of it.

"I - I don't know," she says helplessly. "But he said he wouldn't wait."

"Well, _make_ him wait-"

"Hello, Mark."

All these years, and he hasn't forgotten that voice. It still makes him turn stiff, his blood pounding in his ears. He hasn't forgotten how to feel small, insignificant, like he's melting away under those intense eyes.

He turns slowly; he hasn't seen the man in decades, what difference does it make.

"Hello, Dad."

* * *

 ** _ADDISON'S POV_**

 _Way to go, Addison_ she thinks to herself. Really. As an OB, she's seen and heard about her fair share of cutesy pregnancy announcements, mugs and shirts and balloons and romantic dinners.

Maybe that's what has put her off doing any of these things. She likes hers with a bang.

Her mind wanders back to the last time she said those words as she stands there watching Derek's face drain of color. It would be quite funny, if the situation weren't so tense.

Last time...he was ecstatic, his face splitting into a grin, his arms around her like he would never let go. But that was before, before he knew about her heart and before the twins were born early in a terrifying ordeal and before her entire team of doctors stood in front of her last year and told her, in no uncertain terms, to never, ever, try that again.

And she thought it was enough. She was happy. They were all so happy, and it was like she would never need anything else.

"I'm sorry," he's saying, his face deathly pale, he's pulling her into his arms, whispering into her hair. "Addie, I'm so sorry, but it's going to be okay, we can talk to Fields-"

"Wait, what?"

"Lucy," he says, looking puzzled. "Your OB. About the - termination."

 ** _DEREK'S POV_**

She twists in his grasp, stepping away from him.

"Termination?" she asks, incredulous. "I can't believe we're having this conversation, _again_."

"Addison, be reasonable. You know what they all said, Teddy and Fields and Arizona, you can't-"

"I know I can't!" she says, her face reddening. "I _know_."

"Well, how the hell did you let this happen, then?" he demands, throwing his hands up.

"You were involved, if I remember correctly." she snaps, burying her face in her hands. "Derek-"

"How far along are you, anyway?" he asks, his pulse thundering in his ears. What sort of father - what sort of husband- is so cold, so clinical, about killing his own child?

He loves Beth and Michael to death, he'd do anything for them. He loved Addison more than his own life. He'd do anything for her - the problem right here is that the thing that's killing her is the thing she wants ...more than her own life.

"Seven weeks, about." she whispers, her head still cradled in her hands.

The trip, almost two months ago. That place, with the boat.

"Damn it," he mutters, pulling her roughly to his chest. "Addie, I'm -"

"Sorry. I know you're sorry, I'm sorry too." she hiccups. "But Derek, don't you see? I'm killing our baby in cold blood, to save my own skin."

"You're killing our child and yourself if you continue with this pregnancy," he tells her, shaking her slightly. "Addie. You know this. You know everything about why you shouldn't do this."

"But I don't _care_ about any of it." she says vehemently. "I hate that I'm being so stupid, but I can't do it."

"What about the twins?" he says, feeling low. "They need you. _I_ need you."

She stares at him for the briefest moment, her eyes blank and unreadable, before her pager goes off, the sound deafening in the small room.

"Got to go." she says immediately, drying her eyes. She slides off the table, wincing slightly.

"What?"

"Probably just a spasm," she mutters, her hand drifting to her lower back.

Before she takes a step, her eyes widening, darkening with pain, folding over, her arm across her abdomen.

 _"Addison_."

"Looks like we don't have to make a choice after all," she pants. Her hand, when she puts it on his shoulder to steady herself, is dark with blood.

* * *

 ** _BAILEY'S POV_**

She passes Sloan in the corridor in her way to the exam room to which Shepherd thinks it's amusing to page her to every two seconds. She's walking as fast as she can without actually running, calculating the time she can spare for Shepherd wothout hopelessly messing up her whole schedule, when she notices the look on Sloan's face.

"Who slapped you?" she asks, pausing beside him. She follows his gaze to a - well _excuse_ her, but that gentleman is fine.

Fine as in...Mark Sloan in about thirty years fine.

"My father." he mumbles, stunned. She sees Little Grey walking hesitantly up to them.

"Did he say his _dad_?" she whispers, eyes wide. "Wow."

Her pager is still shrieking, and she slaps at it impatiently.

"Well, aren't you going to say anything?" the man says pleasantly, stepping forward, kissing Lexie on the cheek. "You must be the wife - not that I was invited to the wedding, but Derek kept me updated."

Derek?" Mark asks. He doesn't seem capable of more than a single word at a time.

"Of course, didn't he tell you?" he smiles. "You two have always been so close."

 ** _.._**

She's still confused when she reaches the exam room two minutes later, her head reeling. Estranged fathers, sneaky best friends, Seattle Grace is having quite the morning, and she hopes Derek Shepherd isn't about to add to the drama more than he already has.

But that would be out of character, she observes wryly as she steps into the room.

"Where the hell were you?" he snaps, slamming the door behind her. "She's having a -"

"Miscarriage." Addison says, meeting her eye. "He's having a coronary."

"Never mind him," she says lightly, snapping on gloves as she brushes Derek aside. Addison looks frighteningly blank, complying as she examines her, turning away when she does the ultrasound.

"Addison," she she starts softly, only to be interrupted by the other woman's voice, cracking like a whip.

"I'll need a D and C," she says listlessly. "You'll do it."

"Uh-"

"I delivered your child, Miranda." she rolls her eyes. "You've seen me with poison ivy in the worst place. I don't think there's room for _uh_."

"I-"

"Of course you know how," she peers at her through sweat-damp hair. "I taught you."

* * *

 ** _DEREK'S_** ** _POV_**

In the end, she steamrollers Bailey into doing it, chooses a few nurses she likes, leaves him standing outside the OR feeling like he's the one being scooped empty.

Pregnant. She's been pregnant for almost two months, and he didn't know it. Their child was growing inside of her, and he didn't know until it was over.

When did she he find out, he wonders. When was she going to tell him?

What, exactly, was she planning to do?

He receives a text from Amy, a picture of all three children making a tower - okay, pile, of blocks. He smiles involuntarily, just as he feels something slam into his shoulder.

"You knew." Mark pants, shaking out his hand. "You fucking knew, and you didn't tell me."

"What?" he spits, rotating his shoulder.

"My _father_." he says, the word dripping in contempt. "He's here."

" _What_?" he says in disbelief. He thought the man was gone, had turned tail and run like he has so many times over the years.

"Say something." Mark jeers. "Come on, Derek, tell me. How long have you been going behind my back?"

"Addison's in there." he mumbles, his ears ringing. "Can we - can we talk later?"

* * *

 ** _I like drama and I cannot lie. Review and tell me what you like!_**


	3. Chapter 3

**_I know a lot of you are concerned about Addison...just wait._**

 ** _The suspense is half the fun._**

 ** _Thank you to everyone who reviews regularly...I love you guys!_**

* * *

 ** _ADDISON'S POV_**

"Coffee?" Archer asks.

"No thanks."

"Seriously? Can you even function without caffeine?" he teases, sinking into the couch, mug in hand. He looks even more tired than she knows she must look, clothes slightly rumpled, his hair mussed from running his hands through it.

"How was London?" she asks dutifully.

"Boring. Rainy. Met a hot author." he replies, his foot bouncing nervously as he sips. "Addie-"

"Uncle Archer?" Annabeth arrives in the living room, eyes wide.

"Hey, kid."

"Uncle Archer's here!" she bellows, and her brother comes skidding around the corner, sliding a little in his sock feet.

They pile onto him in squirming excitement, plying him with kisses and questions.

"You'd think I've been gone for years," he grumbles, but she knows he loves this sort of welcome. The outpouring of love that they both never knew until now.

"Did you see the ... the-" Michael looks confused for a minute, searching for the word- "The _queen?_ "

"Kitty cat, kitty cat where have you been-" Annabeth sings immediately, hopping off his lap onto the floor.

"I've been to London to see the queen!" Michael continues delightedly, clapping.

"Kitty cat, kitty cat, what did you do there?" she asks like she's supposed to.

"I scared a mouse under her chair!" They finish, collapsing in giggles.

"We're getting a kitty cat." Annabeth informs her uncle. "For our birthday."

" _Two_ kitty cats." Michael says.

"And a hole in Mommy's head." she smiles brightly.

"Where?" Annabeth asks, grabbing her head in both sticky little hands.

"You know what?" Archer says, standing up. "Let go of Mommy, Beth, I've got surprises."

* * *

 ** _ARCHER'S POV_**

The twins are posing for him in the miniature bearskin hats he found - well, the hot author found - and he's busily clicking away, one eye on Addison, who's curled on the couch in a sweater and jeans, arguing with the caterer about tomorrow's birthday party.

"She hasn't been in since last week." Derek admitted to him as he left this morning. "I didn't know what to do..."

 _So you called me._

He can't believe the idiot has been married to sister for as long as he has wothout realising the one fundamental thing that Addison needs - love.

There wasn't much of it growing up, and maybe this is how they seek it now - Addison with her family, him with his endless parade of authors and interns.

 _But shouldn't this be enough_ he wonders, looking at the twins dancing around in their pajamas, hair unbrushed, a cheerio stuck to Michael's cheek.

"You two are a mess." Addison surveys them, hands on hips. "Come on, let's get you dressed."

"No." Michael says immediately.

"Come on." she says exasperatedly, taking Beth by the hand and scooping Michael up.

" _No_ ," he wails, legs kicking, reaching for him; a small foot catches Addison in the stomach and he sees a flash of pain cross her features.

"Give." he says, taking the flailing little boy from her arms, setting him on his feet. "Addie, can we talk-"

"Not now." she smiles tightly. " _Michael_."

"You do Beth, I'll take care of him." he says hastily, watching the color rise in her cheeks.

 ** _.._**

"You gotta be careful with Mommy." he's telling his nephew, tugging a shirt over his head, trying to get the sleeves over his arms.

"She's sick." Michael says knowledgeably, extending his arm. " _Grumpy_."

He makes a cross face, mouth turning down at the corners, and he almost laughs.

 _You can say that again_.

"And Daddy's angry." he says, eyebrows knitting together. He thinks about it, then bares his little teeth. " _Grr_."

"I'm sure he isn't that angry." he smiles, a wave of unease rising as he lifts Michael down from the bed, looking for his shoes.

"He's _really_ mad," Michael says, opening his arms wide. " _This_ mad."

"Really?" he asks neutrally, tying his laces. "What did you two do?"

"Not us." Michael says indignantly. "Get over it, Addison!"

"What's that?"

"That's what he said," he explains patiently, holding out his other foot so he can put the shoe on. "That's what Daddy said."

* * *

 ** _DEREK'S POV_**

He's just scrubbed out of a tumor resection when Lexie finds him in the corridor, slinking back to his office.

"You're having a bad day." she says, handing him a cup of coffee. Black. "So listen to me."

"It's barely started." he points out, sipping gratefully.

"But it's going to be bad." she assures him. "So listen to me."

"Shoot."

"Mark's been patient," she says, looking relieved to be finally saying it. "Because of...what happened last week, and Addison being...you know, he's been _really_ good about it, but-"

"His father." he summarises.

"Yeah." she whispers, lowering her voice as they pass a gaggle of interns. "He's still, uh, hanging around, and Mark won't talk to him, and -"

"You want me to talk to Mark." he sighs. "Okay. Does my day get worse?"

"The Flanagans want to know when you can do their surgery."

"Whenever Addison comes in." he mutters; it isn't a topic that he particularly wants to discuss.

"When would that be?" Lexie asks delicately. "I mean, she's got surgeries backed up into next week, her patients are getting antsy, and she hates missing work-"

"I'll talk to her, too." he says shortly. "I have a consult, so unless you have anything else-"

"Uh, him?" she asks, nudging him in the direction of a very annoyed Archer stalking down the hall towards him.

He came in just as he left for work that morning, and he left him with Addison and the twins, figuring she could use a little adult conversation that isn't him.

"Morning, Dr. Montgomery." his intern says, handing him a list of consults he has scheduled for the day.

"Get me a latte." he snaps. "Shepherd-"

"You know, Archer, we have offices for this sort of thing. And weren't you supposed to still be in London selling books?"

He can't help it; Archer is as easy to rile up as his sister is difficult.

"If you think you can piss me off to distract me, you're wrong." he says coldly.

"What is it this time?" he asks as a nurse passes him something to sign.

"Like you don't know."

Addison. It's always Addison.

"Sorry," he says flippantly. "For whatever it is you think I've done."

" _Get over it_ ?" he hisses, following him into his office, sitting down uninvited in one of the leather chairs in front of the desk.

Addison insisted on rehauling most aspects of the hospital, ostensibly to attract more elective clientele - and it's worked - but he suspects she actually had a lot of fun doing it. He sits down behind his desk, eyes roving over the photograph in the corner.

He doesn't remember who exactly took it, but it's his favorite, from this summer, Michael with his arms around Addison's neck, Annabeth in his lap, sunlight mapping their bright faces, all of them laughing on the lawn outside their house.

They look untouchable, like nothing will ever ruin this moment. He barely recognises the sunny Addison in the picture from the sullen, silent one of the last few days, and for a moment he wishes he could just go back to that day and never leave.

"She's being ridiculous." he says uncomfortably, turning on his laptop.

"She had a miscarriage." Archer snaps. "You lost a kid. What's wrong with you?"

"There's nothing wrong with me," he says, his voice clipped. "She needs to get out of the house and take her mind off it."

"You're the one who's lost his mind." Archer says, leaning over the desk. "Get it together."

* * *

 ** _MARK'S POV_**

He could have sworn he saw Lexie here two seconds ago, talking to someone, but she's vanished now.

Again.

It's almost like she's ...avoiding him. Her name is on the board for a few of Derek's surgeries, but they aren't until this afternoon. He hasn't seen her on rounds. She isn't in the cafeteria. Or the labs. Or the locker room.

He passes Derek's office, resisting the urge to storm in. The cloud of anger around him has been almost palpable this week, and he's avoided broaching the topic they left unfinished outside the OR last week.

He hasn't seen Addison since; she hasn't come into work and Derek said she didn't want anyone coming to see her.

The door is half open, which is strange because Derek likes to work uninterrupted, and he sticks his head in to see if he's really there.

"Derek?" He's sitting at his desk, head in his hands. The monitor is on, bathing him in eerie light; the blinds are still closed and the room is dark.

He grunts, lifting his head up. "Oh. You."

"Damn right." he says, suddenly irritated. He yanks at the blinds, flooding the room in startling sunlight. They both blink for a minute, adjusting.

"Are you busy?" he asks, hands splayed on the mahogany desk. He looks like hell, his usually-perfect hair is distinctly sad, his eyes bloodshot and bleary.

"Consult."

"Five minutes." he says, sitting down. "Everything okay?"

"Other than the fact that my wife was pregnant and didn't bother to tell me...no."

"You knew she can't have any more kids." he says, wondering whose fault it is this time.

The thing about Derek and Addison is that it's rarely one of them hurting the other; it's almost always a two-way street.

"We weren't... trying." he says quietly. "Can you go now?"

"No."

"Mark."

"You called my father who I haven't spoken to in decades and dragged him here," he says coolly, leaning back in his chair. "I haven't even yelled at you about it yet, so you owe me this."

"You punched me." Derek reminds him.

"Yeah, well, it wasn't hard enough."

"I've already had Archer in here this morning," Derek says, leaning back, closing his eyes. "I can't do this with you too."

"Are you saying I'm not better friend than Archer?" he asks in mock outrage. "And here I thought I was your best friend."

"Shut up."

"Not until you start talking."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I do."

"It's none of your business."

"You and Addison have been my business since 1988." he reminds him.

"We're not talking about it."

"What did I _just_ -"

"No." he opens his eyes, sitting up. " _We're_ not talking about it, as in, Addie and I. We aren't talking about it."

"You are more screwed than I thought you were." he mutters. "She needs you, Derek, you lost a kid too but she's the one who-"

"Who actually went through the physical trauma of it, thank you very much, I know." Derek snaps. "Doesn't mean she has the right to shut me out."

"If she shuts you out, it doesn't mean you have the right to leave." he counters.

He looks stunned for a moment, considering this.

"Give her her time," he suggests, feeling distinctly foolish. "Wait it out, but just...be there."

"It's a mess," Derek murmurs. "All of us, we're a mess, she's not talking, I dint know what to do, Michael picks up on the stress and acts out, and Beth..." he trails off.

"We knew this was it, with the twins." he says after a while. "And she was okay with it. She always wanted kids, but we never really decided on when...the twins were a surprise. I guess I've always imagined a big family, but I was happy with what we have. What I don't get," Derek says, turning to him. "Is why she can't be. And when she shuts me out like this, I think that maybe _I'm_ the problem."

"You're not, Derek." he says softly. "She's stuck with you this long... I don't think she's about to bail."

"She can't." Derek whispers, looking defeated. "She can't, Mark, you know I nearly lost her _and_ Beth when they were born, I - _we_ can't go through that again."

"Adopt."

"We're old," he grins bleakly."We already have two kids, we're hardly ideal material."

"You're also two respected surgeons with a stable life," he says, getting up. "You never know."

* * *

 ** _Next chapter will be happier, promise._**

 ** _Until then, please review!_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_For Addison-fan, the awesomest reviewer there ever was._**

* * *

 ** _ADDISON'S POV_**

Once, he'd said it. He might not remember it but she does and she won't forget it.

The twins weren't quite three months old and she hadn't slept more than a few hours at a stretch during those three months, the house was a mess and she was exhausted and she was a mess and they'd just gotten the twins down, when he said it.

 _I wouldn't mind doing this again_ , that's what he said.

 _You can't do this again_ is what the doctors said. That's what she calls them in her head, _the_ _doctors_ , because if she calls them Arizona and Lucy and Teddy then they become her friends, and that means pity, and if there's one thing she cannot stand, it's pity.

Archer pities her, she can see it in his eyes. In a way, he always has, his tagalong little sister. Mark pities her, because he knows how hard it is for her, keeping herself together. After all, he was there the first time this happened. Derek pities her, but because he thinks she pities herself. She doesn't.

What she does is hate herself, for feeling this way. On the outside, she has everything, beautiful children and a loving husband and a home aand a job. She has no right to be feeling this way, like something is incomplete.

No right at all, she tells herself as she watches Annabeth twirl in her pink party dress, arms outstretched, pretending to be a ballerina, Michael obediently trailing in her wake.

They're so different, her babies, Annabeth fierce and feisty, Michael docile and sweet, but they're the same in so many ways, reading each others minds with what Derek calls ESP.

"Dance with me," Beth orders her father, swishing over to him, gripping his hand firmly. She shrieks in delight when he picks her up and dances her around their room; Michael looks at her, so she scoops him up and follows suit.

"Addie, maybe you shouldn't-" Derek starts, a worried furrow on hishis forehead, and she sucks in a deep breath. They're saved an argument when the twins wriggle down anyway, racing downstairs at the sound of the doorbell.

"I'm fine." she tells him for the millionth time. He looks as unconvinced as he did the first time.

"You know, maybe you should talk to-"

"I don't need to." she tells him in what she intends to be a breezy voice. It comes out flat, and he looks pained.

"Anyone home?" Mark bellows.

"Party's here." she says, and it sounds cheerier.

* * *

 ** _DEREK'S POV_**

"You're old dogs." Mark says.

"Huh?" he mutters; he's too busy trying to work out the intricacies of goody bags to make sense of what Mark is saying. It's not like he makes sense, anyway. Was it two of the squeaky thing to a bag, or one? He hope sit was one, for the sake of the parent's sanity. He should probably ask Addison, she's particular about things like that, but he's reluctant to bring her back down to earth.

She's playing a particularly confusing game of tag with the twins and Sofia - the other children haven't arrived yet - and it seems to involve all three of them chasing her while screaming at the tops of their voices. She looks happier than she has all week, sunlit and smiling, her face flushed, heels discarded under a tree.

"You know, you can't teach an old dog new tricks?" Mark presses. "That's you. You and Addie."

"We're dogs?" he asks.

" _Old_ dogs."

"Mark, start making sense or go away."

"You don't talk about stuff." he prompts. "The big, dirty stuff, you shove it under the rug and ignore it and it blows up in your face later."

"Look who's talking, you still haven't spoken to your father-"

"Shut up about my father." Mark snaps, and he backs off. It's a sensitive topic, and the only reason Mark hasn't given him hell for it already is because...well, because they lost a baby last week.

"What I mean is, you need to get it all out." Mark says after a while. "Like me and Lexie, we yell and then we-"

"Make up, we know." he groans.

"Make up for what?" Addison asks, coming up to them and flopping into the grass with uncharacteristic abandon.

"Nothing." they chorus, and she studies them with narrowed eyes for a moment before Callie arrives, holding a very large box and beaming.

"Today is the day the terrible twos are over." she sings. "Of course, it's followed by the tiring threes."

"Tiring for you, not the kids." Arizona clarifies. "I swear Sofia runs on air."

They look over at the children, who are now spinning until they get dizzy and fall down. He knows from experience that this does not bode well for their stomachs, so he and Mark lure them over with balloons.

"I can't believe they're three." Callie says wistfully, twirling a lock of Annabeth's hair. "I mean, it like yesterday they were tenny tiny and now they're -"

He might be the only one who catches the flash of sadness in Addison's eyes as she turns away, busying herself with the candles. He puts a hand on her back, lightly at first, expecting to be pushed away like he has been all week, but she leans into his touch.

"Everything okay?" he breathes against her neck; the children are making enough noise that he won't be heard.

"Of course it is." she smiles brightly. "Look, the rest of them are here."

He turns around to see a gaggle of toddlers descending upon them, shepherded by their parents. A small blonde child breaks away from the rest, tearing towards Annabeth.

"Caylee." Callie mutters under her breath.

"That's her name?" he asks, confused. Surely not.

"And that's her mom." Callie smiles evilly. "Three o clock."

"Help." Addison squeaks. He looks from one woman to the other, as does Mark. Arizona takes one look at the pert blonde woman bearing down on them and decides she'll get the party games started.

"Hello," she smiles beatifically. "I just wanted to ask you-"

Callie is quaking with silent laughter now, Mark poking her frantically in the side to make her stop.

"Is the cake gluten free?" she asks, eyeing the large round chocolate edifice. He watched Stevens bake it last night, and it seems like a lot of butter and a serious amount of sugar went into it. He's not sure about the gluten.

Neither, apparently, is Addison.

"I'll, uh. I'll ask Izzie." she says, waving Stevens over.

"No." she says in response to Caylee's mother's question, looking confused. "Why?"

"It's just that she's so much _calmer_ gluten free." the woman enthuses; he looks over at the blonde toddler who is currently stomping on balloons and hopes fervently that they don't have to see what she's like when she isn't calm.

"It's so great that you have a dedicated caterer." she gushes, and Addison turns red while Steven stands up to her full height.

"I'm a surgeon." she says coldly.

"Excuse me?"

"A surgical resident." Addison coughs. "At our hospital."

"Oh," she says, flustered. "I'm sorry, I-"

"You might want to change your daughter's diet." Stevens says neutrally, pointing. "She's eating the grass."

They wait until she's out of earshot before they start laughing, falling helplessly against each other and the picnic table.

 _"Calm._ Callie howls. "Her kid bit Sofia in daycare the other day."

"Wait," he says slowly. " Is this the kid Beth told us about? The one who pulls Michael's hair? The one she punched?"

"That's the one." Addison snorts.

"You invited the kid our daughter punched?"

"They're three, Derek, they fight. It's okay." she says, catching her breath. Her cheeks are tinted red from the laughter, and he feels himself soften a bit.

"She pulled Michael's hair." he grumbles.

"Girls can't get enough of that hair." she smiles, threading her hands through his.

Archer clears his throat behind them, raising an eyebrow. "There are a lot of kids here, Addie, let's not scar them."

He's holding a large box, which he sets carefully on the table, waving at the kids, who are now playing pin the tail on the donkey. So far, the tail has been pinned to Arizona's leg, and they're having a lot of fun with the blindfolded boy, squealing as they run around him.

* * *

 ** _MARK'S POV_**

"Thank god for the beer." Lexie sighs, kicking off her sandals as she sits next to him.

"Not god," he jokes. "Just me."

"Very funny." She leans against him, and it's hot and sunny and he's sweltering, but he doesn't exactly complain.

"Sofia may have overdosed on the cake." she says after a while.

"So did I." he mumbles, eyes half closed. "Stevens is _good._ "

"What about me?" she asks; he opens an eye to find her very close to his face, her lips brushing against his.

"What is wrong with you people?" Archer yells. "Stop being ... coupley."

"When did you turn into such a prude?" he demands as Lexie goes beet-red and gets off him, straightening her dress. "Just because _you're_ chronically single-"

"Can you just...get over here?" he asks exasperatedly. "I need your help."

"What for?"

"Just keep Addison away from me." he says cryptically.

"He didn't." Amelia cackles.

"Oh, he did." he groans. Archer is either very brave or insane, a diagnosis he hasn't been able to make in the twenty odd years he's known the man.

"Kitty cat!" Michael squeals. "Thank you, Uncle Archer."

Annabeth's response is to give him a resounding kiss on the cheek. Derek looks torn between annoyance and delight, stroking the tiny black kitten that is clinging to his shirt. Addison looks mutinous.

"I'll deal with you later." she promises her brother, obligingly petting the kitten as Beth shoves it in her face.

"Should I come by later?"

The voice is familiar, and he feels himself rooted to the spot.

"Derek, make him leave." he says roughly.

"Mr. Sloan, hello." he says instead.

"I thought I'd come see the birthday boy and girl." he says, his voice smoothly and polite, raising the hair on his back.

"And perhaps my granddaughter." he continues, and he suddenly feels himself snap loose.

"We're leaving." he says to Lexie; they have Sofia this week. She looks like she's going to protest, but in the end she reaches for Sofia's sticky hand.

" _No_." she wails, kicking. Callie intercedes, glaring at him as she picks Sofia up, soothing her.

"Mark, don't be-" Derek cuts in, and he silences him with a look.

* * *

 ** _ADDISON'S POV_**

She told him not to. For the record, she told him not to.

He doesn't know what it's like. He can't understand the depth of the scars it leaves, being raised by people who are paid to care.

She and Mark understand. In so many ways, their childhoods were identical in their cold, benign neglect. Nannies and boarding schools, vast empty houses and stern voices.

Derek grew up warm and loved, in that noisy little house, surrounded by his sisters and a mother who still insists on forcefeeding him. He can't understand.

Mark stands there, rigid as a board, staring at his father. She's always startled by his resemblance to the man; the last time she saw him was at med school graduation, but they have the same gray eyes, the same sandy hair, the same brash swagger.

Sofia's crying has upset the twins as well, and they look at her for comfort. The rest of the party goers have left, and they're sitting on the deck surrounded by piles of wrapping paper and birthday presents.

"Get him out of here." Mark says to Derek, with surprising calm.

"Maybe we can-" Derek says placatingly.

"Or I'm leaving." Mark says.

"Come on, Mark, don't be so-" his father starts, and he turns around with such rage in his eyes he actually flinches.

" _Don't_ tell me what to do." he says, his voice taut.

"Derek," she whispers.

He fumbles for his jeans pocket as a tinny beeping sound cuts through the tense air, and she watches his expression change.

"Addie, get Amrk to calm down." he says. "He has to talk to him, just get him to-"

 _"Wh_ _ere_ do you think you're going?" she hisses.

"ER," he says apologetically. "Addie, please."

"Tell me what's going on!"

"I will," he insists. "Just...please."

And then he vanishes down the drive, leaving her to deal with a furious Mark, a smirking Everett Sloan, a crying Sofia, her three confused mothers, and her two anxious children.

Nice.

* * *

 ** _Okay, so I'm going on hiatus until maybe mid-November, because I have exams and a project and a million bazillion things going on right now, but I thought I'd just put up this one last chapter before I go._**

 ** _I love you guys, and please don't give up on me!_**

 ** _As Bailey says, I WILL be back._**

 ** _And in the meantime, please review!_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Okay, so I haven't updated this in AGES. Sorry. It's so sweet and encouraging when people leave comments saying they can't wait for the next chapter, so thanks for that._**

* * *

 ** _DEREK'S POV_**

"I want updates every half hour," he tells Lexie, signing his name for what he hopes is the last time on a ream of paperwork. "And I want you watching him."

"Will do." she yawns. He glares. She shuffles upright, shoving her hair out of her face. He can't really blame her; she's been working for twelve hours straight.

He heads down the hall to hopefully find a call room he can crash in, when -

"Daddy!"

He turns around to see Michael breaking away from his mother and tearing down the hall toward him. Lexie makes a half hearted attempt to catch him, but she misses and the little boy hurtles headlong into his legs.

"What are you doing here, buddy?" he laughs, straightening up with his son in his arms. Addison walks up to them, Beth surveying him sleepily from her shoulder.

"I got paged." Addison offers by way of explanation. "And apparently everyone is at the hospital tonight, so no one could take the kids."

"Yeah, there was an accident tonight, most of Surgery got paged." he confirms, kissing her cheek. "But I'm free for now, I can take them while you go..."

"Leslie Flanagan," she says, shaking her head. "She's started having contractions."

"Isn't she ...twenty-seven weeks?" he asks, hoisting Michael higher on his hip. "You said you didn't want to deliver."

"I don't. Worst case, she does and we have a very sick preemie on our hands." she sighs, toeing open the door to an empty on call room. "Beth will probably sleep through the whole thing but -"

"Daddy." Michael wriggles impatiently. "Can we go see the eyes again?"

"The what, sweetie?" Addison asks, looking suspicious.

"The-"

"Your sister's sleeping," Derek says hastily. "Addie, go. I've got them."

Addison departs with a last lingering glare over her shoulder, letting him know that she's probably on to him - but what was he supposed to do? He had the kids one evening last week when he was supposed to be finishing up some optic neuritis research with his resident and the twins _might_ have gotten an eyeful of the...eyeballs in the lab.

"Do you think you can be quiet?" he asks his son, who is climbing onto a chair to peek out the window. "For a little while? Maybe you can even take a little nap."

"No," Michael says confidently, bouncing on the chair. "Naps are for _babies_."

"No," he says, searching desperately for an explanation. "You know, doctors sometimes take naps. Right here, in this room. I do too, sometimes."

"Here?" Michael asks, perplexed. He clambers onto the bottom bunk beside his sleeping sister. "Mommy too?"

" _All_ the doctors do." he says seriously. "So that they're ready to take care of their patients."

"I wanna be a doctor." Michael says. "A bone doctor, with dinosaur bones."

"Why don't you practice taking a nap?" he says, patting the admittedly uninviting gray blanket. He lays down in the middle of the bed, with Neth snoring behind him. Michael crawls in front of him, giggling.

"Itchy." he complains after a while, pushing the blaket away. He takes off his kacket and covers Michael woth it; in no time, he's deeply asleep too, his little body slack against his chest.

He slides out from between the twins with more caution than he uses in surgery, sitting in the chair Michael vacated and turning on his phone. He wants to be there if anything goes wrong with the patient he operated on earlier tonight.

* * *

 ** _AMELIA'S POV_**

She's utterly relieved to see her sister-in -law burst through the doors, dressed in scrubs and clearly already updated on the situation.

"Dr. Shepherd," Lana gasps immediately. "My baby. You said he wouldn't come so early, he _can't_ , he too little -"

"We're going to try everything we can to keep you son where he belongs," Addison says soothingly, motioning for a stethoscope. "There's a chance we can stop your contractions."

"Is it because of the surgery?" Cole asks. "You said it would take the pressure off the baby's brain, but what if-"

"It's possible, but you need to _calm down_." Addison says. "Breathe for me. I'm starting you on some medication that will hopefully stop your labor, but even if it doesn't, your son is in a better condition to be born than he was before."

"I'm glad I don't have to handle that kid if he does pop out today," she shudders in the corridor, leaning into Addison. "Hey, wanna go get a coffee?"

"Amelia, it's three in the morning."

"Never stopped you before."

"You go ahead, I want to be here, just in case." Addison replies, sinking into a chair at the nurses station.

"You're no fun." she pouts.

"I want coffee." Mark moans, collapsing into the remaining empty chair.

"What are you doing on my floor." Addison asks without opening her eyes.

"What's Amy doing on your floor?" he fires back. "I was fixing a huge facial lac on some pregnant lady from the car crash."

"I'm here for the patient whose baby we put a shunt in two days ago." Amelia rolls her eyes. "Wait, I saw Derek in here about an hour ago, and you're all here, so where are the kids?"

"Derek has them." Addison explains. "What was he doing in the OR?"

"He didn't tell you?" Mark asks. "It was bad. They brought in a kid who'd been seizing for hours, so Archiekins-"

"Don't call him that." Addison says automatically.

"- had him put under sedation." Mark continues nonchalantly. "And then Derek got hold of the kid's CT and saw a mass and threw a fit because he didn't think he should have been sedated because he wanted a ictal EEG-"

"We get the picture." Addison says. "Who won?"

"Archiekins won. So now Derek is skulking around waiting for the kid to wake up so he can do some sort of superhero surgery and -"

"You're enjoying this, aren't you." Addison laughs.

"Of course. Its not every day I get to listen to Derek yell at someone who isn't me - or Lexie -"

"He's still being hard on her?" Addison quirks an eyebrow.

"He's hard on all his residents." she cuts in. "Not just your wife."

"I know." Mark yawns. "If you weren't here all week, who operated on this woman's baby?"

"I have fellows." Addison reminds him. "They're very good."

"And me." she reminds them.

"And you." Addison agrees, turning to face Karev, who has just left Lana's room. "What going on?"

"Contractions are wider apart." he says, reaching for the chart. "Maybe she'll make it."

"God, I hope so." Addison shudders.

"You're praying." Mark says. "That's rare enough that God has probably taken notice. Come on, let's go get coffee."

* * *

 ** _CALLIE'S POV_**

She's in the attendings lounge staring into the dark depths of her coffee when the door bangs open, admitting Amelia, Addison, and a disheveled looking Mark.

"Hi, girls." she says, ignoring Mark, who looks hurt. She had a hell of a time calming Sofia down after Mark had that...argument with his father. She gets that fathers can be difficult; she's had her fair share of parental bustups. But Mark and his father are a whole different story.

"What brings you here?" she asks as they fumble for cups and stirrers.

"Facial lac, broken cheekbone, tracheal tear." Mark says, looking at her hopefully.

"Laboring mom of a very sick baby." Addison huffs, taking a sip of her very black coffee.

"I was already here," Amelia shrugs. "So I pitched in."

"You going to look at me?" Mark snaps.

"Not if you're going to be barking at me like a pit bull." she snarls back. "That might fly with your father, but-"

"Don't talk about my father." he says abruptly. The mood in the room sours, and they sip their coffee in silence, avoiding eye contact, until Mark stands up and stomps away.

"How long is he going to be like this?" Amelia wonders.

"It lasts about a week." Addison replies. "I just wish Derek would stop being so stubborn and tell that man to go back to wherever he crawled out of."

"Can't you talk to him?" she asks Addison, guessing the answer by the expression on her friends face.

"Anyway," Amelia says, standing up and tossing her cup in the trash. "We have a patient. Addie, let's go."

* * *

 ** _ADDISON'S POV_**

"Why did you drag me out of there?" she demands as Amelia drags her down the hall by the elbow like a recalcitrant child. "Amy, stop."

"Do you really not know why Mark's father is here?" she says quietly, stopping at the dead end of the corridor. "Addie, you must know _something._ "

She throws up her hands in exasperation. "No, I do not. If I did, believe me, that man wouldn't have still been hanging around Seattle."

She knows a thing or two about absent fathers - about absent parents in general - and she knows Mark's father is like the Captain, possibly worse. She cannot, for the life of her, understand why Derek is insistent that Mark make things up with his father. Derek might not have had his ddad growing up, and maybe he saw Everett Sloan as some sort of father figure, but that's no reasoning to force Mark to meet the man.

"Addie," Amelia says quickly, her voice lowered. "I know. I know why, but you can't tell Mark because Mr. Sloan doesn't want him to know before-"

"Dr. Shepherd -" A nurse jogs down the hallway toward them. "Lana's contractions are two minutes apart."

* * *

 ** _DEREK'S POV_**

He's woken rudely by someone - Lexie - pounding on the flimsy door.

"Dr. Shepherd," she bellows. "He's seizing again, hey Dr. Shepherd, can you hear-"

"I hear you." he says, a little more grouchily than he intended, yanking open the door. "Is Dr. Montgomery here?"

"He's already in the room." she pants, clearly having run all the way. "What about the kids?"

"All yours." he yells as he sprints down the hall. He isn't usually so lax about leaving the children woth residents or interns, but Lexie is, after all, their aunt. She's babysat plenty of times.

He finds Archer in the room already, glaring at the EEG readout.

"Are you happy now?" Archer spits, pointing to the tiny body convulsing in the bed. "I told you not to lighten the sedation."

"Two of lorazepam." he says calmly, holding the boy down as a nurse injects the drug. The seizures slow in jerks, the muscles still stiff beneath his hands, but he seems to be breathing on his own, struggling against the tube. He calms the child as best he can while Archer extubates, then holds him diwn until he stops choking.

The child's eyes are wide and dark with fear, small hands clutching the sheets. His skin is ashen, blood drying on his forehead where he fell when the seizures started.

"Hey," he says softly, moving in front of the boy so he can see him. "Nathan, right? Can you hear me?"

The boy stares straight ahead, his eyes blank, clearly in some sort of post- ictal haze.

"His brain is probably fried." Archer says in disgust. "I told you he needed to stay sedated."

"Look," Derek says, ignoring Archer. "It's definitely some sort of temporal lobe-"

"Who cares?" Archer snaps, snatching the readout from his hand. "It would have mattered if you hadn't let him seize until his brain turned to mush-"

" _Your_ brain is mush." Derek says, irritated. "A temporal lobectomy could completely stop these seizures."

"What about the tumor?" Archer says suspiciously.

"It's in the temporal lobe, which you would have known if you listened to me at all this evening."

"I have better things to do." Archer huffs.

"Like...sell books?"

"Shepherd-"

"Hello, men." Amelia says cheerfully. "What are you arguing about this time?"

"He wants to cut out pieces of a child's brain." Archer says immediately.

"It's sort of his job." Amelia says, looking at the silent boy. "Is this the patient you left the party for?"

"Yeah," he says, relieved to be spared an explanation. "He's in foster care, but the parents have left for the night, they have other kids at home."

"He's all alone?" she asks, brushing sweat-dampened hair away from his forehead.

"Lexie's staying the night." he says. "What are you doing here?"

"Addison's doing a crash C-section on the shunt patient." she says morosely. "Looks like we fixed the baby's hydrocephalus, but he's going to be born at twenty-seven weeks anyway."

He refrains from saying _I told you so_ with great difficulty, turning his attention instead to the patient, shining his penlight in his eyes, checking his reflexes, flexing small limbs.

"He'll be okay, for now." he concludes. Archer nods grudgingly. "We'll take a call about the surgery tomorrow, after we've spoken to the parents-"

"Don't you know?" the nurse cocks her head. "The parents gave up custody. Said they can't foster a sick kid because they already have others...they're gone."

* * *

 ** _Promise I'll update sooner than I did this time... but reviews make me faster. Just saying._**


	6. Chapter 6

**_Not to whine, but...did anyone read the last chapter? Is anyone still interested?_**

* * *

 ** _ADDISON'S POV_**

She remembers the real, raw terror of waking up after the twins had been delivered, the heavy realisation that she was, once again, alone in her body and the two kicking, squirming beings that had inhabited it were out in the world. Her hand had drifted to her belly the way it had so many times over thise long months, only to feel emptiness, and then the rush of relief at seeing them, tinier than tiny, the comfort of at last being able to hold them.

She can't even give her patient that; she cannot bring herself to say that her baby may not live through the night. That her body may have been sliced open twice in the span of a week for no reason other than to leave a scar that will haunt her for the rest of her life.

She leaves Lana lying tearful and exhausted in her bed to stumble down to the her office, where she knows Derek and the kids are. Except there's no Derek; there's a young nurse, looking nervous.

"You can go." she says to her. "Thank you."

She strokes Beth's mussed curls, wondering where Derek is.

"Mommy." Beth croaks, curling into her leg. "Can we go home now?"

"Not yet, baby. I have to stay here, to help someone."

"But I wanna go home."

"I know. But there's a sick little baby who might need my help." she whispers, careful not to wake Michael. "I promise we can go as soon as I'm done."

"Can I see the baby?" Beth asks hopefully, more awake now. She loves standing at the nursery window, peeking at the neat rows of swaddled infants. She calls it the baby store.

"He's sleeping." Addison says. Only half a lie.

"Oh," Beth says, disappointed. "I like babies. Mommy, can we have a baby?"

She has to stifle a lugh at the innocence of her question, even though it sets off a little flash of pain in her chest. She lived every moment of her pregnancy, even though it was fairly miserable. She loved the feel of their little feet pressing from the inside out, the way they'd tap back at her finger when she touched her stomach. She knew almost immediately, the secind time around; the familiar nausea and the bone-deep exhaustion were the same.

What wasn't the same was the knowledge that she couldn't pospossibly carry this child to term, the knowledge that no matter how much she already loved this mythical baby, she would never meet it. She wonders what if would have been like, if she could; how the twins would have reacted. Beth would be thrilled at a new playmate, Michael, her sweet shy boy, would maybe be a little more hesitant.

And Derek, he would have been thrilled. She caught the momentary spark of joy in his eyes when she told him, before reality set in and he turned grim.

"Maybe," she tells Beth. "In a while."

Adoption is something they've discussed already, before this surprise pregnancy; how they might integrate another child into their lives, into the twins lives. She thinks it might be easiest if it were a younger child, someone who the twins would feel naturally protective of rather than threatened by. Derek says he doesn't care either way; all he wants is a healthy child.

"Where's Daddy?" Beth enquires, alert now. She scrambles into her lap, tugging at her stethoscope and poking it into her little ears, pressing it to Addison's chest. She giggles. "I can hear your heart, Mommy."

"What does it say?"

"It says I love you." Beth informs her solemnly. " _This_ much."

"I love you too." she says, muffled in Beth's hair. "Oof. You're getting too big to dance on my knees."

"I wanna go see the babies," Beth pouts. "Can we choose a baby?"

"They're not for sale," she laughs. "They're other people's babies."

"Oh." Beth says, momentarily stymied. "Then where did you get me and Michael?"

"Er-"

"What are my girls talking about?" Derek teases, slipping into the room. "Isn't it a bit late for you to be up, Beth?"

"The birds and the bees, apparently." she mumbles as he sits down.

"No, Mommy." Beth says, exasperated. "We're talking about _babies_."

"That's right." she slaps her forehead. "Babies."

* * *

 ** _DEREK'S POV_**

He finds Beth bouncing happily in Addison's lap in her office, their son fast asleep, and it's a heartwarming scene before he hears what they're talking about.

When he knew he wanted to marry Addison, he knew he wanted children. So did she; they agreed, him because he was raised in a large family and she because she had always wanted one. They joked back and forth about the number; he teased her that he wanted at least four, and she said three was enough. They stopped talking about it sometime in New York, when they started growing apart, and it never came up until Seattle, and even then it was handled with caution, tiptoeing around the subject of fertility treatments and careers.

And then the twins came along, woth Addison's illness and the news that there wouldn't be any more children, but he thought he was content. He is. But when Addison told him she was pregnant again, he couldn't help but entertain his fantasies for a moment, and imagine a fifth Shepherd.

"What about babies?" he questions, tickling Beth's stomach, making her laugh. Addison elbows him to keep quiet.

"Can we choose one?" Beth asks. "From the baby store?"

"It's not a store, princess." he laughs. "Those are other people's babies."

"That's what I said." Addison says, and he's relieved to see she's smiling. "But if you want, and if you can be super quiet, we can go see the babies."

He was once on the Obstetrics floor looking for Addison to see if she could take a feverish Beth home, when he walked past the plate glass window of the nursery, and two-year-old Beth instantly perked up. She's begged to go back and see the babies at least twice a week since then; they sometimes let her.

Beth hops down form the couch instantly, tugging at Addison's hand.

"What about Michael?" she asks, hesitating as she eyes her snoring brother.

"I'll stay with him." he decides. "Go on, he won't even know you're gone."

"Because he sleeps all the time." Beth says disapprovingly, apparently having forgotten that she slept through most of tonight's upheaval. She's the twin who's always up first, though, the one who drags her brother from his bed and into their parents bed most mornings.

"You sure you won't be paged?" she asks Derek as she zips Beth's jacket, holding her hair out of the way.

"No, it's covered." he says. "I'm just waiting for the patient to wake up and we can leave after I check his status."

"What patient?" she asks, out of habit. They share medical trivia all the time at home, bouncing problems and solutions and ideas off each other.

"I'll -tell you all about it later." he says. "Go see the babies first."

* * *

 ** _ARIZONA'S POV_**

"He's a fighter," Karev says proudly, his finger gently stroking the tiny curled fist of the newest addition to the NICU. "He's gonna make it."

"He's early." she agrees. "But he looks better, don't you think? Stronger."

She looks at the minuscule creature under the soft light of the incubator, legs tucked to his chest like he still thinks he's in his mother's womb, fragile chest flickering up and down. The shunt that was placed earlier this week seems to have relieved most of the pressure on his brain, and he's normal for a twenty-seven weeker, and all she's worried about are the usual complications of a preemie.

"He does." Karev replies, withdrawiing his hand and closing the portal. "And now, we're going home."

"We are?"

"Yeah. To our actual kids, because we've been here all day and we stink."

"Speak for yourself."

"Just because the rest of them are too polite to tell you doesn't mean I am." Karev deadpans. "But seriously, Robbins, go home. Izzie's got it covered here."

"Addison's staying." she says, unsure. She knows Addison is determined to see this patient through come hell or high water, and she doesn't feel comfortable leaving while the other woman stays.

"Well, Shepherd's crazy."

"Shepherd can hear you." she hears Addison say testily, and she turns to see her sitting in the chair behind the nurses the, Annabeth on her lap.

"What are you doing here?" she asks, confused. Its five in the morning, and Beth looks as bright eyed and bushy tailed as her mother looks wiped. She thought Addison had gone down to her office to try and get some sleep.

"We came to see the babies." Beth explains. "And then Mommy said she had to see you, Uncle Alex."

"Why?" Alex asks suspiciously.

"To tell you that baby better be alive when I come back tomorrow." Addison says sweetly. "You and Stevens enjoy yourselves - you'll have the NICU to yourselves tonight."

"Wh- you're leaving us in charge?" Karev splutters. "Overnight?"

"You're a fourth year resident." Addison replies. "You can handle three babies."

"And my nurses are extremely competent." Arizona teases. "I think the babies will be fine, Addison."

"Get out." Alex says happily. "This is _so_ cool."

..

"He looks better already." she's saying to Addison in a low voice as they make their way down the corridor, away from a jubilant Karev. "You're heading home?"

"Yeah." the other woman yawns. "And I'm pushing my morning surgeries."

"Same." she grins. "Sofia is going to be thrilled, since all three of us are coming in tomorrow afternoon. She's been...down, since Mark had that thing with his dad."

"Is he all right now?" Addison asks, tensing. She puts a hand on Beth's shoulder, who is skipping along ahead of them. The morning shift nurses and residents are just beginning to come in, and the hospital is buzzing with shift change and early morning medication rounds and surgical preparation. It feels strange to be leaving at a time when she would normally be coming in.

"He's grumpy." she answers. "And less ...Mark than usual."

"His father has that effect on people." Addison sighs. "Well, good ni- good morning, I guess."

* * *

 ** _DEREK'S POV_**

He reads the text from Addison asking him to meet them in the parking lot and is just getting ready to pick Michael up when his pager goes off.

"Damn it." he mutters, fumbling for the device. He squints, realising his patient must be awake. He glances at his sleeping son, then opens the door, relieved to find one of Addison's nurses already at her desk.

He asks her to keep an eye on Michael, dashing up the stairs instead of the elevator, packed with bleary eyes night shift personnel leaving the hospital.

"He's awake." Lexie tells him, bubbly as ever. Archer is, as always, already there, bending over the small boy with his penlight.

"Looks like you did all right, Shepherd." he says grudgingly, pocketing the light and standing up. "He's oriented and alert, no visual-"

"I want my mom." Nathan whimpers.

He looks at the nurse, who looks at Lexie, who looks at Archer, who rolls his eyes.

"Your...mom...had to leave, Nathan." he says gently, sitting on the edge of his bed. "But we're here, you can ask us for anything you want."

"I want my _mom._ " he whispers again. "My head hurts."

"You bumped it when you fell down." he explains, pouring him a cup of water. "Do you think you can drink this?"

He sips obediently, letting him hold the cup to his mouth. Tears well in his dark eyes. "When will my mom be back?"

"They're overrated, kid." Archer mutters under his breath; he glares at him until he moves away.

"You try to sleep." he says, smoothing a hand through the boy's dark hair. "She'll come in the morning."

"How long til it's morning?" He can't help but smile at that; it's exactly what his own kids say when they wake up at night.

"Three hours." he answers seriously. "Then you'll see your mom."

"Promise?"

* * *

"Promise."

 ** _Writing this story is...weird. I forget about it, then I remember it and it's like my head is exploding and I can't stop writing. I think I'll be able to update by the weekend again - but please leave me some reviews!_**


	7. Chapter 7

**_I literally cannot stop writing this. Hope you're still reading!_**

* * *

 ** _DEREK'S POV_**

"And they just left?" Addison asks incredulously. He's lounging on the bed, pretending to look for his phone and watching her wind her hair into a painful looking bun. "Like, they left?"

"They left." he confirms, helping her spear her head with a bobby pin. "They said they'd be back."

"You bet your ass they won't." Addison snorts, slapping his hand away. "We're already late, Derek. You should call the social worker."

"Because we're late?"

"How did you get to be a neurosurgeon? For your patient. Also, you should check on the terrors."

She has barely finished her sentence before there's a thundering of feet in the hallway and the twins burst into the room. He steps away from Addison hastily, dropping his hands.

"We're ready." Michael announces proudly. He's dressed in a sweater his grandmother knitted him and pants from last year's pirate Halloween costume. Beth is perfectly coordinated in her little dress - and her socks even match - and she eyes her brother doubtfully.

"I'm ready." she says. "Michael isn't."

"Sweetie, those pants-" Addison beg8ns, trying not to smile.

"I'm Captain Hook." Michael insists. "I have to wear these pants."

"Maybe you can be Captain Hook after we get home." he suggests, and then regrets it when Addison suggests that he go find him some clothes while she makes breakfast.

He stands in front of his son's closet, wondering how a three year old manages to accumulate so many clothes. He picks out a long sleeved shirt with an alligator on it, then helps Michael wriggle into it.

He pops out of the neck tousled-haired and beaming, and he can't help but give him a little hug, breathing in the clean scent of his dark hair. He's constantly amazed by how fast each of his children seem to be growing, learning new things every day. The time seems to be flying too fast; just yesterday they were as long as his forearm and he and Addison were figuring out how to handle two tiny babies at once.

"Daddy." Michael says seriously as he's trying to find a pair of pants that are less pirate-like. "When can we get a baby?"

He nearly drops the neatly folded stack of slacks he's going through. "What do you mean?"

"Beth said we're getting a baby. Like everyone at daycare" Michael explains. "Can we get a boy baby? Porter's mom had a boy baby and he's really cool."

"Michael." he coughs. "You can't just...buy a baby."

"Are they free?"

"No," he says slowly, his mind racing as he looks into his son's inquisitive eyes. _This is way too early to be having this conversation_ , he thinks.

"Not on the bed, Pascal." Michael says firmly, detaching the small black kitten from his sister's bedspread. Addison let them keep Archer's ill-advised present on the condition that it wouldn't be allowed on any furniture, because of Beth's allergies. The kitten returned the favor by trying out its sharp little claws on one of Addison's beloved leather bags.

It's been named Pascal after a lizard in some Disney movie that's Beth's current favorite, and he's convinced the creature knows exactly how he and Addison feel about it, because it makes a spitting noise at him before hurtling into the hallway and down the stairs, the bell on its collar tinkling madly the whole way.

Michael has been thankfully distracted, and he's sitting on the floor in his shirt and underwear, running a toy car along the edge of the rug. He quickly finds a pair of pants he hopes Addison won't wrinkle her nose at and helps Michael pull them up his legs, then gives him a piggyback ride down to the kitchen.

"It's a cereal kind of day." Addison says, handing him a bowl of muesli and the milk. "We should have left ten minutes ago."

"Yuck." Beth says, looking at her Cheerios. "Can I have Daddy's cereal?"

He laughs while Addison attempts to school her face into something less resembling horror. "Of course you can." he beams, pouring her a bowl of muesli and handing her her little pink spoon with the wide handle.

"She definitely takes after you." Addsion mutters. Michael is happily scarfing down dry Cheerios and sipping his milk while Addison coaxes bites of banana into his mouth.

They're finally all fed and standing by the door, zipping jackets and putting on shoes, when -

"Does Pascal need a jacket?" Beth asks.

Addison looks at him.

Michael yells for Pascal.

Pascal skids around the corner, the sound of claws on hardwood making Addison close her eyes.

"I bet he'll fit right in my pocket." Michael says, scooping up the kitten, which cuddles against him.

"I wanna hold him." Beth says, reaching.

"Gently." Addison says, widening her eyes at him.

"I think...Pascal might not like the hospital." he says, hoping he's convincing enough. "And the hospital doesn't allow cats."

"We can't leave him _alone_." Beth gasps. "He's a baby!"

"We left him alone last night." Addison reminds her, easing the cat from Michael's grip and heading for the laundry room. "He'll be happier at home."

"He'll _starve_." Beth pleads tearfully. "Please can we take him?"

"He has plenty of food," Addison explains, showing her the full bowls of cat food and water she's laid out, the nest of newspaper and old blankets and even the remnants of the deceased leather purse. "And when we come back, we can go get him a real bed."

"You're an old softie." he teases her as they buckle the twins into the car, cat worries soothed and forgotten. "You love that cat."

"Don't act like you don't." she smiles, sliding into her seat.

The twins sing along to the latest Disney soundtrack on the stereo, which means he'll have it in his head all day long today, and he catches Addison - and himself - humming along. Okay, so maybe they were singing.

The twins are still singing when they enter the hospital, drawing a few smiles, but they quiet down quickly. With two busy surgeons for parents, they've spent more than their fair share of time in hospitals, and they know the drill.

"Hello!" The daycare attendant, Patty, greets them brightly. She's young and blonde and bubbly, with more than a passing resemblance to Arizona, which means she's great with the kids. She has a penchant for clay and crayons and crafting, which means Michael is her number-one fan.

Actually, he might have a crush on her, a fact which endlessly amuses both him and Addison.

"How was the birthday?" she asks, helping them off with their shoes. "Hi, Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Shepherd."

"It was _awesome_." Beth chatters, since Michael seems to be having trouble with words. "We got a kitty cat."

" _Did_ you?" Patty exclaims, exchanging a look with Addison.

"We sure did." Addison confirms. "Be prepared to hear about it all day."

"We have lots of stuff planned for today." Patty says. "Story time, some really cool paper dolls, and at snack time...we have a _surprise_."

"You know, as great as Patty is, we should start looking at nannies." Addison says ince they're in the hallway, having promised to pick the kids up for lunch in the cafeteria, an event they seem to enjoy. "They'll be going to preschool, and Beth has that dance class and Michael-"

"Dance class." he mutters, slapping his forehead. "That's today, and-"

"You're supposed to take her." Addison supplies, eyes twinkling. They stop in front of the OR board, searching for their names.

"I'll take her." Addison concedes. "I'll be free at five and I don't have any consults today-"

"No, you're on at three." he points. "I'll take her, I'll finish that cranioplasty by four, and I can have Lexie-"

"Have Lexie what?" Mark asks, ambling up behind them, holding his scrub cap and looking distinctly worn. He must have just gotten out of surgery.

"Did you even go home last night?" Addison asks, wrinkling her nose. "You reek."

"That, my friend, is the smell of a surgery gone well." Mark grins, but it lacks his usual brightness. "Did you see Sofia in daycare?"

"No." he replies. "Mark, -"

"I am trying not to punch your sorry face." Mark says, gritting his teeth. "Addison, make him shut up."

"Derek, shut up."

"You're taking _sides_?" he asks, flabbergasted. "You can't take sides."

"I can take sides." she insists. "And I totally take the side that's against absentee drunkard parents."

Right. Mark and Addison both belong to the Wealthy Neglected Screwed-Up Kids Club.

"Traitor." he mutters.

"Hello, people." Amy says cheerfully. "Why so glum?"

"She's a traitor." he points to Addison, who rolls her eyes.

"He's an idiot." Mark glowers. "Addie, back me up."

"Addie, we have that shunt reversal at nine. You want to check in on the latient before?" Amy says, examining the board. "Mark, unless you have something new to tell me, I'm outta here."

"Why are you all ganging up on me?" he demands. Addison laughs and kisses him on the cheek as she leaves.

"You're cheerful." he says to Amy, who's fairly bouncing on her feet.

"I had sex." she grins. "Awesome sex."

" _Filter_." he hisses. Mark smirks and high-fives Amy.

"Your guy's a keeper." Mark is saying to her. "Even if he _is_ a lawyer."

* * *

..

 ** _ADDISON'S POV_**

"How's he doing?" she asks, stroking the botton of his tiny foot. She's surprised by strong he is already, his fingers curling firmly around hers.

"He's great." Izzie beams. "Kidneys are doing better, and he's maintaining his temperature pretty well, we've turned down the -"

"Derek?"

"I took over the shunt reversal from Amy." he explains, looking comical in his pink paper gown. "She had an...emergency."

"Oh." she says, wondering what the hell Amy is doing.

"Hey there." Derek is saying, sliding his hand into the incubator. "You're a fighter, I've heard."

"He is?" Lana asks anxiously as she's wheeled through the door in a chair. Tom is behind her, looking pale.

"He's a champ." Izzie assures her. "Dr. Shepherd is going to move the shunt into his abdomen today."

"Where's the other Dr. Shepherd?" Tom asks. "I mean, the one who isn't both of you."

"She's...unavailable." she says. "But Dr. Derek Shepherd is our head of neurosurgery, so your son is in safe hands."

"Can we come with him?" Lana pleads. "Just till the doors."

"All right." she relents. "We'll have him out before you know it."

"Dr. Shepherd," Tom says. "It's going to feel like forever and you know it."

 ** _IZZIE'S POV_**

"Do you think he's going to have deficits?" Addison murmurs, watching Derek place the last few sutures to secure the shunt.

"We'll just have to wait and watch." he says, stepping back. "Dr. Grey, you're up."

Addison let her do a few parts of the relatively uneventful surgery; Derek seems to be letting Lexie do the same.

"You know, Lana said she didn't want to name him until they knew he would be okay." Addison is saying as a nurse lifts her headlamp off. "They've been through god knows how many IVF cycles, they're just...holding their breath, I guess. Poor things."

"They could just have adopted." Derek points out, stripping off his bloodied gloves.

"Maybe they wanted a baby of their own." Addison retorts; here they go. She' to think the Shepherds can't operate together without having one of their cutesy, coupley, bantering arguments.

"That's ...backward." Derek fires back. "And narrow-minded."

"So they should just have stopped trying?" Addison asks, waving herself through the door. "Stevens, I want you to stay with him in post-op and update me every half hour. Make sure Grey closes properly."

"My resident won't mess up." Derek protests as he follows her into the scrub room.

"I know. It's just that my resident kicks your residents ass." Addison smirks, turning on the water, and they don't get to hear the reply Derek tosses back.

"Just for the record, I totally trust you." she smiles at Lexie, who looks slightly unnerved. "Keep going."

"They argue all the time." Lexie complains. "But they' in love. Mark and me, we argue all the time too, but it's like he just wants to prove me wrong all the time."

"What did he do?" she asks, watching Lexie's hands move deftly, closing the skin now. She's always thought of Mark Sloan as an older, marginally more mature version of her husband - who is currently not speaking to her because she won't let him teach Ruby how to wrestle - so she understands Lexie's frustration.

"He thinks I'm being selfish by asking him to talk to his dad." Lexie says, lowering her voice. "Except that I know a secret but I can't tell it to you because it's, you know, a _secret_ , and I can't tell anyone or Derek's gonna kill me, and I feel like _such_ a traitor hiding it from Mark but Derek says his father doesn't want him to know and we have to respect his wishes, so-"

"Just tell me and get it over with, why don't you." she rolls her eyes. "I promise I will buy you coffee and let you rant at length, but I have to get this little guy to recovery or Addison will use me for target practice."

* * *

 ** _DEREK'S POV_**

"They still aren't here." he confirms.

"That's what I said." Debbie replies severely. "Twice."

"I heard you." he explains. The nurse always manages to make him feel like an errant teenager. "Just can't believe it."

"There's the social worker waiting for you." she sniffs. "He's been here all night too. Waiting for you."

The social worker turns out to be a young man with close cropped blond hair blending into his pale skin, stuttering and dropping the contents of his voluminous briefcase on the floor.

"I'm Ted." he says nervously. "I mean, I'm Theodore, I'm Nate's social worker."

He shakes the young man's sweaty hand, spritzing himself liberally after.

"How're you feeling?" he asks Nathan, who's propped up in bed staring a chunky board book.

"I'm six." he says flatly. "This is a baby book."

"I'm sorry." Theodore squeaks. "I just grabbed a few things for him, you know? I didn't know what six year olds like...it's my first case."

"Dude." Nathan says. "I already said it was okay. Don't flip."

"Nathan," he says reprovingly. "Ted's just being nice." He read that Nathaniel has been in and out of foster care since his parents died - OD'd - when he was eighteen months old. He's been through nine families, the latest having just said they couldn't handle his medical issues, of which there are plenty. So the child's vocabulary, his toughness and bravado, are unsurprising.

"He said sorry, like, a million times." Nathan replies. He submits to being poked and prodded, having the light flashed in his eyes, being tapped with the hammer.

"What's that?" he asks curiously, pointing to the penlight.

"It lets me know your eyes are working right." he says, letting Nathan hold it and flick it on and off. "Yours are."

"I know that." he replies. "This is kinda cool." He shines the light through the plastic cup on his tray, casting tiny rainbow droplets on the wall.

"You can keep it, if you like." he says, standing up just as Archer strides in, trailed by multiple interns.

"You're operating?" he asks. "Hey, kid."

"Hey, Dr. Montgomery," Nathan says, as close to cheerful as he's heard him. "Look what Dr. Shepherd gave me."

"Excellent." Archer says. "Now you can help me examine you. Shepherd, this is my patient."

"I was just checking up on him." he says, stepping away to let an intern draw blood. "I can't operate till we get permission, except no one know who's permission to get, since the foster parents bailed." He keeps his voice down, although Nathan is distracted by the needle-wielding intern.

"They what?" Archer coughs. "Wow. That made Bizzy and the Captain look like parents of the year."

"I know." he sighs. "He's so young-"

"Hey!" Archer barks. "Intern. Move."

He turns around to see Nathan crying silently, the intern flustered because he can't find a vein.

"It's okay." he encourages, sliding an arm behind the small shaking back as Archer takes over the needle, tightening the tourniquet. "Look away, and it'll all be over."

"It hurts." Nathan whimpers.

"All done." Archer says, handing off the tubes of blood. "You're a brave kid. I've had grownups screaming at that."

"Really?" Nathan hiccups.

"Yup." Archer confirms. "Crying like babies."

"I'm not a baby."

"No, you're not." he says. "If you finish your breakfast, I'll see if we can't get some video games in here."

"It's _gross_." Nathan whines, already over his tears.

"It kind of is." Archer agrees, looking at the plate. He glares at him.

"What do you want?" he asks, standing up.

"Can I have a doughnut?" Nathan asks hopefully.

"I don't see why not." he says, smiling. "Promise me you'll eat it?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay, I'll go get you a doughnut." he laughs.

"I'll go." Ted says quickly. "And I need to talk to you about discharge-"

"Of course." he says. "Right now?"

* * *

 ** _ARCHER'S POV_**

"So I'd recommend someone with a strong medical background." he says, watching the skinny little social worker scribble in his notepad. "It's possible that his seizures-"

"With the surgery it won't be an issue." Derek interjects.

"Still, someone has to deal with his post-op care." he says. "Follow ups, physical therapy, meds."

Derek nods in agreement. "I think he can leave by the end of the week. There's nothing we can do for him until we have consent of the state or his new foster carers."

"There aren't new foster carers." Theodore says. "No one, awful as it sounds, wants a ill adjusted kid with a history of seizures."

"It's hardly his fault." he snaps. "He needs a stable home environment if we're discharging him."

"Can't you find someone?" Derek asks.

"It's not that easy. Plus, the cost of a surgery like that, it'll be hard to push it through."

"You're right." he says. "Luckily, Shepherd here will work pro-bono."

"I would have even if you hadn't offered." Derek rolls his eyes. "I'll do it as soon as we have a green light."

"Dr. Shepherd!" The intern fron earlier bursts into the room, panting. "Dr. Montgomery. He's seizing again."

* * *

 ** _Please review. I love reading all your guesses and suggestions._**

 ** _Also, some of your suggestions are literally reading my mind._**


	8. Chapter 8

**_Thanks for all the lovely reviews on the last chapter!_**

* * *

 ** _DEREK'S POV_**

"You're not watching." Beth pouts, skipping over to his chair. "Daddy!"

"I'm watching." he protests. "That was, uh, that was very nice, Beth."

He's struggling to pay attention to the fiftieth rendition of what Beth learned at dance today. It was adorable the first ten times, but by now he's got the steps memorised, and there will probably be another showing when Addison gets home.

"It's time for bed, you two." he says. Beth is twirling her way around the living room while Michael tinkers with his blocks in the corner.

"Will you read us a story, Daddy?" Michael asks. "It's my turn to choose."

"No, it's mine." Beth says, hands on hips. "You got to pick yesterday."

"You did!"

"Ask Mommy!" Beth shrieks, looking uncannily like her mother. "You picked the story."

"Mommy's busy." he says hastily. "But we'll read two stories, so both of you get to pick."

This appeases both twins, and they barely beg to stay up just a little longer as he gies through the routine of pajamas and brushing teeth and checking under beds.

He's trying to figure out how to get the tangles out of Beth's hair without causing her to yowl so loudly someone calls the cops, when his phone rings.

"Michael, buddy, could you get me my phone?" he calls, working his way through a particularly horrific knot.

"I can't find it." Is his son's reply.

"It's on the bathroom counter-"

"Found it!" Michael says. "It's Mommy."

He looks at the small smiling Addison on the screen to confirm who it is before he answers, and immediately both kids are clamoring for the phone.

"How's it going over there?" he asks, she shushing the kids.

"We lost the baby." she says softly, her voice exhausted. "Lana is fine. I just called to say goodnight, and I'll probably be here a while."

She had to go back to the hospital before dinner, the Flanagan baby was having trouble breathing, that was ... two hours ago.

"I'm sorry." he says sincerely. She was close to this whole case, the whole family, and she'll take it personally.

"Yeah." she sighs. "Put the kids on?"

He dutifully puts the phone of speaker; it takes ten minutes to go through the litany of goodnight, sleep tight.

"Is Mommy sad?" Michael asks, after Addison has gone. "She sounds sad."

"She's probably just tired." he says, touched. Their son, ever the thoughtful little angel. "Like you'll be if you stay up any later."

They fall asleep halfway through the first story, but he finishes it anyway. He always enjoys these last few moments, both children asleep, he savors the quiet.

Except that with both of them sleeping and Addison gone, he has nothing to do. He calls his resident to get an update on Nathan - he sent Lexie home before she had a nervous breakdown - then settles into his office with the baby monitor sitting on his desk.

He hasn't gotten two paragraphs into the abstract he's supposed to be detailing when the doorbell rings; he freezes for a second, making sure it hasn't woken the kids.

"Mark?" It's not strange that Mark is here, they see each other all the time, even more since the girls are so close. "What?"

Mark steps silently into the foyer, closing the door behind him. He looks unsteady on his feet, his eyes red and bleary. This is bad - Mark rarely gets this drunk.

"You lied." he slurs, leaning into the wall.

"Mark, what's wrong?" He steps away involuntarily, grimacing at the smell of alcohol. "Where the hell have you been?"

"With my father." Mark spits. "My asshole dying father, who told me everything, and-"

"You talked to him?" he asks incredulously. He was expecting the standoff to last for weeks, he was expecting to have to intervene between the Sloans to get them to talk to each other. For Mark to do it himself is...astonishing.

"No." Mark snarls. "He talked to me, and I listened, which is how it's always been. And just like it's always been, he's only surfaced because he wants something from me-"

"Derek, I told you to stop taking in vagrants." Addison jokes, stepping around Mark. She takes a closer look at him as she struggles out of her coat.

"Wow." she mutters. "I thought we left this phase behind in the nineties."

"He spoke to his father." he says quietly.

"Oh," Addison says, realisation dawning on her face. "Oh."

"You knew." Mark hisses, lurching forward; Addison grabs a shoulder to keep him from falling on his face. "You knew why he was here."

"He's dying, Mark." he says softly, taking over for Addison. They've done this before, him and Mark, him and Addison, or some combination of the three. Decades of friendship do not come without their fair share of drunken escapades.

"So you thought you'd just offer him a slice of my liver?" Mark laughs. "Really, Derek, you're so arrogant."

"He's your _father._ "

"Not really." Mark slurs. "Sperm donor would be more accurate."

"Mark-"

"He's not _your dad_ , okay." Mark explodes. "He isn't _your_ father, don't use me to play out whatever fantasy you have of...I don't know, saving your dad, or whatever, because this _isn't the same thing_ , this is my father who never even wanted a kid. My father who has never been there for me at all, he made our lives hell, Derek. You know it. I don't owe him anything."

* * *

 ** _ADDISON'S POV_**

 _If only Bizzy could see me now_ she thinks as she expertly flips a pancake. She doubts Bizzy has ever made a pancake in her life.

"Me." Beth pleads, her hand hovering over the bowl of blueberries. "Can I put them in?"

She lets Beth do the berries, making sure her little hand stays away from the pan. She's not sure why, but her little girl has inherited Derek's health food mania. Michael, on the other hand, doesn't care two ways about what's in his breakfast; he's busy making a chain out of what looks like every napkin in the house. She's too tired to stop him, and he looks cute sitting there on the floor, brow furrowed in concentration. She takes a minute to snap a quick picture before she turns back to Beth.

"Does Uncle Mark want a pancake?" Beth asks. She has a dash of sugar on her nose, and her hair is a rats nest. She wonders if Derek brushed it last night.

"Why don't you go see?" she says. Mark crashed here last night, and she doubts he'll wnat to wake up a scant four hours later, but he's less likely to be irritated if it's one of the kids waking him up.

Beth obediently clambers off her footstool and heads off to find Mark. She takes the opportunity to speed up the pancake-making process, and is almost done when Derek comes in holding a fully (and appropriately) dressed Michael.

"Where's Mark?" he asks, his voice low, as he lowers Michael into his chair.

"Beth's waking him up."

"Really? You think a three year old can wake up hungover Mark?"

"No. _Beth_ can wake up hungover Mark, because -"

"Mark's here." Mark grunts, flopping into a chair.

* * *

 ** _MARK'S POV_**

He wakes up to a small, sticky hand patting his face, which is how he wakes up most days when Sofia is with him.

"Uncle Mark," whispers a voice. "Hey, Uncle Mark. You have to wake up. It's morning. Uncle Mark? Hey, Uncle-"

"Annnd...I'm up." he croaks, sitting up on the couch and sweeping Beth into his arms and tickling her. "Thanks to you."

She squirms, giggling. She has sugar on her nose and her hands are sticky with some sort of blue juice. He suddenly misses Sofia with a vengeance.

"Mommy made pancakes." she chirps, skipping away.

Sofia is at her mothers' house, since Lexie has been working all hours and he has been...erratic, and he wants to see her.

Maybe today, if Callie has cooled down. It's not really his fault his showing up and demanding to be spoken to.

And asking for things he has no right to.

Like a liver.

Like he hasn't ruined his own by living at the bottom of a bottle for most of his life.

He ambles into the kitchen, which smells like heaven. He's greeted by the sight of Addison cooking and saying something about him. Of course they're talking about him.

"Mark's here." he grunts, sitting down next to Michael, who is having his pancakes cut up by Derek.

"You look...tired." Addison days delicately. Derek mouths _disgusting_ at him over Michael's head.

"Thanks." he mutters; he never realised Addison could be a good cook. She was famous for once scorching a kettle of water back in med school.

He watches her pile food onto his plate, then pour him a cup of coffee.

"What are your plans for today?" Derek asks. "You can't come in today looking like that."

"Like what." he says combatively, digging in. "Anyway, it's my day off. Sofia and I are headed to the Z-O-O, where I also plan to have a certain pair of twins join me."

" _Zoo,_ " Beth squeals. "Ooh, thanks, Uncle Mark."

"Why am I not surprised your kid can spell?" he mutters. "Anyway, if you don't mind, we have a date with the gorillas we don't intend to miss."

"Elephants." Michael pleads.

"Those too." he says, ruffling his unruly dark hair. He looks like a small clone of Derek; except, of course, for his eternally sunny personality, which Mark isn't sure was inherited from either parent.

"I don't mind." Addison shrugs. "If you want to take on three three year olds for the day..."

"Don't you think you should be...getting tested?" Derek frowns. "If you're a match, your fa-"

"I like my liver where it is."

"It's not like he wants the whole thing, Mark-" Derek says exasperatedly.

"Anatomy Jane had a liver-" Michael says sadly.

"-But Frances played with it and it went under the couch." Beth finishes.

"Can you have this discussion somewhere else?" Addison smiles tightly. "Come on, kids, lets go get that liver."

Derek waits for her to leave with the kids before launching his next attack. "He's trying to make up for what he did, Mark?"

"When will you get it through your thick skull that _what he did_ _has no redemption,_ " he spits. "God, Derek. This is my father we're talking about. How many times over the years have you seen him show up for me?"

"He wants to be there for you now." Derek says, getting that uncomfortable look he always gets when conversations take an emotional turn. "He wants you to know he's sorry."

"He also wants a chunk of liver so he can go back to boozing and sleeping with girls younger than me." he snorts. "You know him, Derek. He's a good actor."

"Addison gets along with her parents." Derek challenges, changing tact. "They were as bad as yours."

"Addison's screwed up." he replies, draining his coffee.

"Hey."

"You know it. She'll do anything to make Bizzy...not complain... for once. Me, on the other hand, I don't give a-"

"We found it!" Michael cheers, charging up to Mark and stopping himself by sliding neatly into his legs. He holds up a small misshapen gray object like it's the Holy Grail. "You can have this liver, Uncle Mark."

* * *

 ** _Please review!_**


	9. Chapter 9

**_To all the sweet people who wished me luck for my exams, thank you so much!They went really well and I now have a bit more time, so I'll be updating a bit faster._**

* * *

 ** _ARCHER'S POV_**

"Mommy said we can get him a real bed," Michael says happily, running a small red car up his leg, then down the other. " 'an we have to take him to the wet. Why does he have to be wet, Uncle Archer?"

"Uh, I think your mom meant _vet_ , kiddo. A vet is a doctor who takes care of animals." he chuckles, ruffling his nephew's hair. He likes to sneak into daycare sometimes, just to take a break from the hospital. Seeing the kids is almost...relaxing.

Which is strange, because the only small child he's ever been in close contact with was Addison when she was little. He's never really liked them at all - noisy messy little buggers - but his niece and nephew are either the world's best behaved three year olds or ... he's biased.

"I wanna be a vet." Michael announces, clambering into his lap and running the car over his arm. "I wanna be a dinosaur vet."

"You see a dinosaur, you be sure to show me." he says, kissing them both. "I have to go now."

"You didn't look at my picture!" Beth says, hands on hips. "It's you."

She thrusts a piece of paper up at him, and he stares at what seems to be a stick figure in navy scrubs with squiggles of hair in an unflattering shade of brown.

"It looks so...real." he enthuses. "Thanks, sweetie."

"You can put it in your office." Beth beams. "Like Mommy."

Privately, he thinks the crayoned squiggles Addison has lovingly put up on her bulletin board make her look a little deranged, but whatever. He can't exactly say no to those big blue eyes.

In fact, he wonders how Addison and Derek ever manage to say no.

"Sure thing." He winks at the pretty daycare attendant on his way out, where he promptly walks into Derek.

"They're doing portraits in there." he warns, showing him Beth's handiwork.

"Excellent likeness." Derek grins. "Like the hair."

"Shut up." he says good-naturedly, taking back his portrait. "Listen, did you ever hear back about those faster parents? The kid's ready to go home unless you want to operate on him now...which you can't do unless you have permission."

"Never heard back." Derek replies, his face darkening. "Can't you...I don't know, keep him here a day or two? Say you need to observe him. Just until I work something out."

"He'll be here till he leaves for college, then." he can't resist saying.

"Archer, even you can't possibly be okay with the fact that Nathan is essentially about to go live with strangers...or in some place where no one can give him the kind of attention he needs."

Which basically is how he spent his entire childhood, Archer thinks, but whatever. Derek seems almost overly interested in this.

"There's nothing wrong with him," he says. "Except...he won't eat. He's...losing weight?"

"Good man." Derek says, slapping him on the back as he heads into the daycare. "Knew you'd come up with something."

"Hey, Derek?" he calls after his retreating back. "Whatever you're planning - you have twenty four hours. And if I were you, I'd ask Addison first."

* * *

 ** _DEREK'S POV_**

He just needed a moment with the twins before he asks Addison to make a life-altering decision. He needed to see that they've so far managed to raise sweet, sensitive children.

Well, _sometimes_ sweet and sensitive.

He watches Beth square skinny little shoulders as she stomps up to a much taller girl.

"Give him his car back." Beth says firmly, hands on hips, looking so much like her mother he has to bite back a laugh.

"Please?" she adds, in a sweeter tone.

"No!" shrieks the other child, clutching it to her chest. Michael looks warily first at his sister, then at the car-stealer.

"Rachel, what did I tell you about sharing?" asks Patty patiently. "And about asking first?"

"Sharing is caring," Beth says loudly.

"I don't care!" exclaims the girl named Rachel.

This seems to transform both little girls into tiny demons, with a lot of shrieking and pulling involved. Patty grabs Rachel and swings her away while he pulls Beth back by the straps on her dress.

"What did we talk about?" he asks, turning her around to face him. "Is it nice to hit people?"

"No." she scowls. "But I didn't hit her!"

"You hurt her," he prompts. "We don't do that."

"But she wasn't _sharing_ ," she says, lip trembling.

"Maybe you could have asked nicely." he says, feelimg totally hypocritical. He admires the fact that Beth is so protective of her quieter brother, that she's so fierce and scrappy despite being small for her age.

What he doesn't admire as much is the fact that she seems to heading straight toward a career in WWE.

"Sorry." Beth says grumpily over her shoulder to the other girl, who has been coaxed into handing the car back to Michael and apologising.

"She's ...feisty." Patty says to him as he's leaving.

"She's violent." he grumbles. "Does this happen often?"

"Only if someone does something to Michael," Patty grins. "Or Sofia. We're working on -"

"Conflict resolution?" he jokes. "Call one of us if it gets out of hand."

"It won't." Patty assures him.

He finds Addison in the cafeteria where he aksed her to meet him, dressed in scrubs and nursing a cup of coffee.

"You're late." she notes as he pulls up a chair.

"Our daughter is a violent criminal."

"Now that's something I didn't think I'd ever hear." she laughs, raising an eyebrow. "What did she do now?"

"Got into a fight with some kid named Rachel." he tells her, swiping her cup. "Left a scratch mark down her arm."

"I cut her fingernails three days ago." Addison moans.

"Maybe she's part monster." he muses. "Maybe she's part cat."

"Speaking of cats, we need to take Pascal to the vet." Addison reminds him, snatching her coffee back. "Get your own."

"Do we know a vet?" he asks, perplexed. He's never really had a pet except for a goldfish he won as a prize somewhere, and as far as he knows, Addison had a horse but he can't imagine her taking it to a vet. And there was Doc, but he wasn't around very long.

"I...asked Meredith." she says after a pause.

"Did she change careers?"

"No, you idiot, I asked Meredith about Dr. Dandridge. _Finn_." Addison says, rolling her eyes. "He's a vet. He's the one who -"

"Doc, yeah, I remember." he exhales. "They're...still together, then?"

"Yes." she says, her expression neutral. "We have an appointment at seven, and the twins want to come."

"I'll come too." he says automatically. "Call me when you're done, I'll go pick up the cat so we don't all have to go back home."

"Sure you can handle it?" she asks doubtfully.

"It's a _cat,_ Addie, not a tiger."

"All right, honey." she laughs. "Cat's all yours. Just... watch your hands."

"There's...something I wanted to ask you." he begins tentatively. "Hear me out first, and then you can flip out."

"Is it something I'm likely to flip out over?" she questions.

"Depends on how you look at it." he replies. "Listen, Addison, it's a lot, but...you know that patient I told you about? Nathan?"

"Yeah." she says slowly. "The...the one who was in foster care, but he needs surgery so soon and the parents took off."

"Yeah." he sighs, relieved that she remembers. He slides a hand across the table top to take hers, running his thumb over her glittering rings. "I was thinking we could -"

"Let's do it." she says suddenly, her hand turning over, fingers squeezing his. "I want to do it."

"What?" he splutters. "Wait. Are...you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Derek, I'm not stupid." she mutters. "I was going to ask you the same thing, except I was going to do it tonight when the kids were asleep, not in a grimy hospital cafeteria-"

"Sorry about that-" he mumbles.

"- I mean, we were thinking about it anyway, weren't we? And since I'm...barren-"

" _Addison._ "

"And we're perfect for him." she continues, undeterred. "We know what to watch for, we're experienced with kids."

"You stole all my lines." he complains.

"It's not my fault you're so slow," she smirks.

"If we're really doing this, it has to be now." he says hastily. "Archer's holding off the discharge, but only for a day."

"Archer knows about this?"

"Well, he might have guessed," he shrugs. "Anyway, he's cooperating for now but I don't know how long he'll play along."

"I'll talk to him." Addison says firmly. "Also you might be having a ...visitor...today."

"What kind?"

"Just remember, honey," she says, kissing his jaw before standing up. "We _really_ need this person to like us, so be nice."

* * *

 ** _MARK'S POV_**

He's sprawled comfortably - and obnoxiously- according to Burke, on the couch in the lounge when Derek walks in behind a woman who can only be described as ... sour.

He studies them as Derek motions to the long table, hastily clearing away the clutter of papers and half-eaten sandwiches before pulling out a chair.

Derek makes frantic motions at him to sit up, which he does.

"I can leave, if you want." he says, raising an eyebrow at Derek.

"No need." says the woman coolly. " , thank you for meeting with me."

"No problem at all." Derek says. He's doing the Smile, the one that always works, leanimg back in his chair and everything. Huh.

"It's _doctor_ Shepherd," Mark coughs.

"Is it." she says wryly. "Well, _Dr_. Shepherd, what exactly do you have in mind? I was going to speak to your wife, actually -"

"She's hiding in surgery," Derek says bitterly, then catches himself. "I mean, she's busy. Important surgery. Emergency."

"That's all right." she smiles. If a millimeter twitch of the angles of her mouth can be called a smile.

He's just analysing how narrow her nasolabial fold is when she clears her throat.

"So, you have two children, twins?" she asks.

"Uh, three."

"Your wife seems to be aware of only two." she says.

"We.. we might have three."

"So congratulations are in order?" she questions. "Dr. Montgomery never said anything."

"No, not like that," Derek splutters. "And Addison's Dr. Shepherd, not Montgomery, that's my brother-in-law who is definitely not pregnant."

There's a moment of utter silence, where both Mark and the woman stare at Derek, who is turning steadily redder.

"Two." the woman says finally. "Or three?"

"We-" Derek's eyes dart to him, then he looks away. "We might become foster parents to a boy - he's six - but it hasn't gone through yet."

"What?" he chokes on someone's coke he stole from the fridge.

"I'll tell you later." Derek says to him, eyeing the soda dripping down his chin.

"So two three year olds and a six year old," the woman says. "I can handle that."

"Good," Derek sighs, visibly relieved. "Nathan might have some health issues, so if we do get custody we'll try to make sure one of us is always at home to make the transition easier."

They discuss preschools and dance and music lessons and soccer, so he lets himself zone out a little.

Adoption is something he knew Derek and Addison were considering, but to be hit with the news like this is confusing.

They haven't exactly been speaking all week, but this is big. Big enough that Derek would have come to him for at least an opinion.

"We'll see you Monday, then?" Derek asks, shaking the woman's hand.

"Who. The. _Hell_ was that?" he asks when Derek collapses opposite him. "She reminded me of Bizzy circa the eighties."

"Bizzy recommended her." Derek says. "She was Addison's cousins' nanny and their mother swore by her."

"You sure she isn't a ...Russian spy, or something?" he asks. "I mean, you aren't even sure how many kids you have."

"About that," Derek swallows. "I meant to tell you."

"Is this...Derek, is this that kid you and Archer were arguing about?"

"Yeah."

"You're adopting him."

"We're trying." Derek says. "Look, Mark, we haven't told anyone."

"Just like you didn't tell anyone about why my father's really here?" he asks skeptically. He knows he should be supportive and happy or whatever, but really doesn't have it in him at the moment.

"I didn't tell anyone, not even Addison." Derek snaps.

"Well, Lexie knows and Lexie won't shut up about it." he replies. "Who told her?"

"I - Mark, I didn't." Derek says, his forehead furrowing like it does when he's thinking.

"So that leaves my father." he says grimly.

* * *

 ** _ADDISON'S POV_**

"He's awake?" she asks again, pressing her head to the cool glass.

"For the third time this minute, no." Archer says grouchily.

"I didn't ask you, I asked Derek. Hey Derek, how did it go with the nanny?"

"You're getting a nanny?" Archer guffaws. "You're Bizzy 2.0."

She pretends she doesn't see Derek plant his elbow firmly in her brother's ribs, but she appreciates the gesture.

"I am not." she says curtly. "I thought Lise was my mother till I turned three, and Bizzy was just someone who lived with us."

"Ah, Lise." Archer sighs reminiscently. "She made the best sugar cookies. I liked her."

"Me too." she says.

"So did the Captain." Archer grins wickedly.

"He's awake." Derek announces.

..

"Are you a doctor too?" Nathan asks warily, eyeing her.

"I am," she explains. "But I'm not here to be your doctor, I just want to talk to you."

"This is Dr. Shepherd," Derek says, placing a hand on one bony shoulder. "Addison. She's my wife."

"Hi." Nathan says listlessly.

"How do you feel?" she asks, comoletely at a loss. Her heart goes out to this lonely, scared child, but she doesn't know him. She doesn't know what he does and doesn't like, what makes him laugh, what scares him. What he wants to be when he grows up, what's his favorite part of school or his friends or if he likes sports or video games or...

What is she getting into?

"Better." Nathan answers, still not looking at her. "I get to go home tomorrow."

"You excited?" Derek asks.

"It's always loud," Nathan says, finally looking up at Derek. "It's loud and there's other kids and they laugh at me."

* * *

 ** _DEREK'S POV_**

"You're quiet." he notes as they walk to the daycare.

"It's not fair." Addison mumbles.

"I know." he replies, squeezing her hand. "We can make it better for him."

"No, not him." Addison says. "Not just him, Derek, all the other kids like him. Where do they _go_?"

He leaves her pained question hanging in the air as they enter the daycare, Beth and Michael skipping over immediately.

"We're going to the we- _vet_." Michael exclaims gleefully.

Damn.

By the look on her face, Addison forgot too.

The social worker is due at their house in an hour.

"We can make it." Addison mutters feverishly.

"Do you have wings?" he hisses.

"You forgot."

"So did you!"

" _Lissen_ to each other." Beth says dramatically. "Use your inside voices."

"Sorry, baby." Addison apologises, picking her up for a hug. "We might not be able to go today."

"What if Pascal gets sick?" Michael worries.

"He won't." Mark says gruffly behind them. "I'll take the kids and the cat, I'm free and I think Sofia's dying to go anyway."

"Really?" Addison says. "Mark, you don't have to."

"Better than going home to Lexie's PowerPoint presentation on the topic of liver donation." he replies. "Just put the cat in a box or something, so it doesn't mess up my seats."

* * *

 ** _I know this ended abruptly, but I'll have the next chapter up soon. Sooner of you, y'know, review._**

 ** _Please?_**

 ** _The Derek and Addison adoption storyline seems logical to me, since in canon they both end up adopting a child each even though they went their separate ways. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them, same goes for requests!_**


End file.
